


light, wine, and sweethearts

by coffeecrowns



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Food, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Temporary Character Death, Trans Character, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-02-28 20:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13279488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeecrowns/pseuds/coffeecrowns
Summary: In a universe where you're born with your soulmates first words written on your wrist, there are complications for interdimensional travelers.





	1. youthfully yours (never felt young)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, my name's James and when I was listening to Crystal Kingdom, I knew Kravitz and Taako ended up together, and my first thought after their first interaction was to text me girlfriend "please tell me there's a soulmate au for this". As a direct result of both her reaction and my feelings by the end of the show, I decided I wanted to write one. 
> 
> Our title comes from a poem by Rumi which goes like this:
> 
> “Come to the orchard in Spring.  
> There is light and wine, and sweethearts  
> in the pomegranate flowers.
> 
> If you do not come, these do not matter.  
> If you do come, these do not matter.”

Barry Bluejeans is born with a soulmark no one can read. To be fair, his family can’t read Elvish. To be fair, he’s glad. When he starts realizing he isn’t the girl everyone thinks he is and learns Elvish, he learns that his soulmark identifies him as a boy. He hopes. The borderline illegible writing on his wrist reads, “I don’t know, I think he seems alright.”

There’s no elves in the tiny farming town where he grows up. Just humans. He learns Elvish from books from the library from the next town over. He befriends a cat, who really befriends  _ him _ , only approaching when Barry can be still and calm while reading everything he can get his hands on. He names the cat Tito, the second half of the Elvish word for kitten. (The first half is blotted out by poor printing.) Tito will follow him around the farm, will curl up with him when he is still. Tito will let Barry pet him when Barry is upset. 

He approaches puberty rapidly, and it all feels wrong, so so wrong. He tells his parents, only for them to laugh, and tell him that he’s being silly. They call him their “beautiful little girl.” 

So he cuts his hair, uses all his money to buy clothes that are for boys, and mens jeans. They are softer and nicer, with more pockets for treats for Tito. He takes the angry yelling stoically. He thinks of chivalrous knights, and how calm they are in the face of dragons. He is twelve years old, and decides to define himself by the word “gentleman.” He’s never going to be big and strong, not like other boys. He’s five two and likes reading, not fighting. But he can be gentle and calm and noble.

When he goes back to the library, he gets the books on magic. He learns about transmutation, about changes things to make them better. But he doesn’t have those kinds of components. He could never get away with the one transmutation he wants. He barely is getting away with his “oddness” as it is. But he can’t stop thinking of that power. 

Except. 

He’s outside one day, walking with Tito, hoping to find  _ something  _ magical in the woods. Originally he had hoped for buried treasure but now he’d settle for getting some dew together. A group of older boys find him. 

He takes it as calmly as he can. They beat him, and he cries, but he cries quietly. They lose interest, eventually. From what he can see through cracked glasses, Tito has stayed by his side. He feels warm. 

The oldest boy follows his gaze to the cat. 

He does not take that calmly, he squirms and bites and kicks, but it doesn’t matter. He can’t get free. And they kill Tito. They snap his neck and Barry can see the light leave his only friends eyes. That gives them the reaction they wanted, thinks the detached part of Barry’s brain. 

He’s left alone. 

He brings Tito’s body home, to the older barn his claimed as his own. He looks at all the books on magic he was allowed to take out. Most are on transmutation. But he took a few in other domains. But he knows what he’s looking for. Necromancy. 

It’s a scary label, but considering what he gets for choosing “male” he frankly doesn’t give a shit. It takes him months before he gets the components and the courage together. But he’s made his decision.

With an animated skeleton of his cat following him around, the older boys stop bothering him completely. 

He returns his books on transmutation and starts reading about necromancy. He reads everything he can. It’s scary, sometimes, what he did and what’s out there. But what he reads is wrong. He didn’t want power, he was fueled by love. He needs more opinions.  So he befriends librarians in all the neighbouring towns, and they call him Barry when he asks, and they help him get everything he can to learn about magic. He writes notes, and then essays, and does everything he can to understand concepts that no one in his entire town has ever even heard of.

He’s the first person born in his town to go to university. Full scholarship. He puts Barry on the paperwork and marks the box for male. He’s so nervous he throws up after, but when he gets letters to Mr. Hallwinter, it’s worth it. 

His mother tells him not to come back home. That he won’t be welcomed if he does this.

He goes anyways. 

Even if it was hard and scary, it’s worth it for another reason. When he’s in his fourth year, he meets Magnus Burnsides.   
  


Lup is born with soulmark reading “are you talking about me?”, in Elvish. She thinks. Her soulmate has conjugated “talking” wrong, in their clear, boxy printing on her right wrist. She grows up making the same mistake. By the time her and Taako hit their thirties, she doesn’t say it as a mistake, but as defiance, they’ve been passed around to almost all their family, who insist they learn to be proper. Most of them didn’t realize you could make mistakes like that. Which is fun. Their extended family aren’t nice, with their cruel words Taako learns to spit back, with their hits to their ears, with cruel discipline. She doesn’t like to think about it. She doesn’t need anyone but Taako. Taako doesn’t need anyone else but her. 

They arrive at their aunts looking as identical as they can. They have shoulder length hair that is braided, dark green tunics on, and grey cloaks. It’s drab as hell, but they haven’t had a chance to grow into a style. Not when they don’t know if they’re safe. 

Their Aunt is kind, brilliant, and patient. She can tell them apart by the end of the first week. She teaches them to cook, never worried about two kids on the stove, with sharp knives, carefully watching and ready to bandage any wounds. She teaches them about magic. 

Lup finds a name for how she feels. She wakes up and tells Taako that she’s his sister. He instantly gets pronouns and her new name right. Later, he’ll explain that it just felt right. He immediately tells her it doesn’t mean she can have his favourite blue skirt. She hugs him anyways. 

Auntie is happy to welcome her niece and nephew instead of nephews. She doesn’t have money and status the way the others they stayed with did. But that’s okay. She loves them, and feeds them, and teaches them to provide for themselves with four gold in their pockets. She makes Lup a red skirt that's nicer than Taako’s blue one. Auntie finds Lup an apothecary who can delay any changes, and says that for her birthday, she’ll get her the spell that will make sure that when Lup changes, she changes like a girl. 

Lup beams, and gets hugged lots. Taako and Lup and Auntie make Lup’s favourite turkey and Taako’s favourite cake. Auntie told Lup to be extra nice to Taako, because he gave up having a present to make sure they could pay for Lup’s spell. Taako rolls his eyes when she thanks him, saying that next year he’s getting something really nice. 

They don’t have their next birthday with Auntie.  She’s old, even for an elf. She’s well over six hundred, and it shows. She dies peacefully in her sleep, which leaves them alone. 

They pack up a backpack each, take all the money Auntie left them, and hit the streets. They aren’t going back to any one, they are each other’s family. They aren’t alone. 

Taako will trace her soulmark, and she will trace his. Taako has a scarred mark, which should mean that his soulmate is dead. Except he was born with his mark scarred over. Which isn’t normal. His, in common says, “well this is going to be a lot easier than I thought.” Which Lup isn’t thrilled about. It sounds like something the people who are cruel to them would say. Her brother’s soulmate has pretty handwriting, full of loops and flourishes. But it is dead. She knows it bothers him. Sometimes people will stare at him, and they realize it’s because he’s so young to have a scarred mark. 

Lup is proud of him. Taako refuses to cover it, he rolls up his sleeves in defiance. When people stare, he glares back. Lup will join in. There’s nothing wrong with her brother. 

But they grow up. They cook for caravans, and they steal what they need to eat, and they get their hands on all the magical texts they can. Taako learns transmutation and it feeds them. She learns evocation, and it protects them. She likes fire. Okay, she loves fire. It’s beautiful and powerful and dangerous. She can’t be the kind of elven woman she grew up watching, but she doesn’t want to be. But she can be firey and powerful. 

So she is. 

She wants to go to school. But they’re never going to be able to afford it. They know about the IPRE, obviously. Everyone knows about them. You can work for them after you graduate to pay back your schooling. And they only take the best. 

It’s that last detail that she uses to get Taako in the door. Neither of them like the idea of having a debt, but Taako has no issue with a test that will confirm that he really is  _ that  _ good. 

They are, obviously,  _ that good.  _ No one who learns magic under their circumstances can afford to be anything but. 

Taako says that she owes him a second “flawless, iconic, and majestic” birthday present. And then he says that they can go to school and work and all that nonsense. He says it with the nonchalant she sees right through. She hugs him anyways.  
  
  


Magnus isn’t actually a student. Barry thinks he might be an intern. He’s a fighter, which is more of an associate's degree. But Magnus, he believes in a bodyguard for someone in the university. Magnus is happy though. He’s huge and strong, which is deeply terrifying to him, until he sees Magnus sitting patiently and lets Tito crawl all over him. 

They bond over being humans, and later, over being trans. Magnus has had the spells cast and well as surgeries done when he was younger, but has old binders Barry can use a little magic to make fit and effective, and Magnus helps him get testosterone potions. Barry teaches Magnus Elvish, along with a handful of other languages. He figures out about six months into their friendship, and a week into trying to teach Magnus how to read Elvish that Magnus is dyslexic. Magnus cries of happiness when Barry helps him get the right devices to help him read. 

One night, they’re laying on the couch, Tito curled in Magnus’s lap, Barry doing his reading for class, Magnus reading the latest book in kids series about dogsledding, of all things. He’s got coloured lens on, and its slow going, but he’s engrossed in the story. Then he slides the bookmark in, and closes the book. Barry holds his breath, wondering if Magnus is having a bad day or struggling with something else. 

But Magnus just curls in closer and say, “Barry, do you have a soulmate?” 

“Yeah,” he says. 

“Can I see?” asks Magnus. So Barry rolls up his sleeve, and holds out his wrist. Magnus squints his eyes a little, obviously struggling, and Barry says, “they have messy printing, it’s not just you,” and Magnus breathes a sigh of relief. 

Magnus reads it and laughs, saying “Do you think they’re talking about you?”

Barry blushes and says, “I had a lot of my early sanity resting on that theory.”

Magnus’s face softens as he says, “yeah, I get that.” Then he brightens and says, “But I think you’re more than just alright.” 

“Do you have a soulmate?” asks Barry, after a pause. 

“I don’t have a soul _ mark _ ,” says Magnus, in a tone he picked up from Barry. 

“That’s not what I asked, Magnus,” says Barry. 

“Well I don’t have a soulmark,” says Magnus. Barry raises an eyebrow. “But I have a good feeling.” 

Magnus Burnsides, everyone, thinks Barry. He smiles. He can’t imagine a world where Magnus Burnsides, the person with more love than anyone has to offer, doesn’t have a soulmate. 

“Sounds like a powerful feeling,” says Barry. 

“It is,” says Magnus, with an expression on his face Barry can’t quite decipher. 

They don’t talk about soulmates again for a long time. They’re friends for years, and Barry puts together a thesis and studies, and Magnus works security jobs and makes friends in high places. 

Then Magnus comes to him one day and says, “The IPRE is working on something big. You should apply.” 

Barry rolls his eyes. “As what?”

“They’re going to need an engineer, some magical genius, ideally the same person, where they’re going.” He sounds like he’s quoting from some high ranking person Magnus is paid to look after. Barry is a gentleman, but if people aren’t going to respect his friend as a person, he doesn’t see why Magnus can’t listen to what is said around him. 

All he says though, is “where are they going?”

And this is where Magnus’s face  _ lights up. _ His dearest friend says, “The stars.” There’s a look in his eyes of wanting. And like hell is he going without Barry. 

Barry applies.

 

The twins pass their entrance exams with flying colours. They’re top of the class and look incredible doing it. It doesn’t make them any friends, but that’s alright with them. The four years go by quickly, in long nights and study sessions, and commendering the communal kitchens to make obscene amounts of food. They sneak into the library late at night, and study off campus, use the practical aspects in hidden alleys and side streets and abandoned buildings. They’re fiercely protective of each other, and build their walls high. They are safe, but they’ve never been safe for long. 

They graduate, and get drunk and laugh and cry. They miss the light of creation land, in the middle of the morning when they’re sleeping off the hangover in their barricaded room. But they don’t miss the rapping on the door, or the gnome who drinks four cups of coffee in the time it takes them to get through one, telling them about an opportunity he thinks they’ll want to be part of. 

It’s risky, so the IPRE will call the service they owe repaid at the end of the mission. There’s other things they can do, explains the man. But this is exclusive and huge.

Taako asks if they can have a moment of privacy to discuss it. The gnome, Davenport, allows them. 

They step off into Lup’s bedroom. The have a conversation is hushed, rapid Elvish. 

“I know you want to,” says Taako. 

“Not without you,” she replies. “Not ever.” 

He looks at her, he looks at the apartment, he looks at his wrist. He’s silent for a minute. They can hear Davenport pace. 

“Fuck it, Lulu,” he says, smiling. “In for a copper in for a gold right?” 

They walk back out to the kitchen, pinkies linked, smiling. Davenport smiles back. 

“We’re in,” Lup says. 

“And we’re a package deal,” adds Taako, with the same tone he uses when people ask about his mark. Lup wonder if he knows. Davenport smiles.  

“I think we can work something out,” says Davenport. 

 

It’s actually really simple. Davenport has a list of all the top people he wants to come with him, now that they have the ability to go beyond the planar system. He’s got a lot going for him, completely focused on his career.

He has to be. He grows up knowing he won’t meet his soulmate until they address him as “Captain.” There is never anyone to make career sacrifices for, because both his person and career have been decided for him.

He finds he likes it. If the single minded determination wasn’t obvious enough, he’s a good leader. He likes exploration. He likes being on the edge of the science and technology. He can’t wait to have his own command.  

If he’s lonely sometimes, when he comes back to his apartment after midnight, that only motivates him to work harder. But he’s come so far that no one could keep him grounded. Not with what he has to do. Not with the light of creation behind them all. So he covers the words, “Captain Davenport, what brings you to my neck of the woods?” with the long red sleeves of his uniform.  

And hopes. 

He goes through his list. He has Barry Hallwinter as his science officer, working tirelessly on the bond engine. He has the twins, Lup and Taako, brilliant arcanists in their own rights. He has Magnus Burnsides, a fighter, but also a protector. Hallwinter recommended him, which meant Burnsides had more layers than Davenport might have guessed. Or Hallwinter owed him a favour. After interviewing the man, Davenport figured it was the first. 

He’s approached by Lucretia, a young chroniclar and ghostwriter. She makes a good argument, and frankly, he doesn’t like paperwork. For the project to continue, she explains over coffee, people have to care about the work they do. It needs to be a compelling story. There’s no way she can know what this mission means to him, that his life’s mission was to become a captain in order for him to meet his soulmate. And in order to stay a captain, he figures, he needs to keep a ship. 

So now he has a ship full of spellcasters, and one fighter. To be fair, they’re diverse and top of their fields. But he needs a medic, a cleric, ideally. 

He doesn’t know any clerics. 

None of the top clerics employed by the IPRE stick out. He reads their files, and meets with them anyways. They are all too much. He respects them, and appreciates their honesty, when, for the third time in the morning he does interviews he’s told “I want to confirm my god is real.” But Davenport knows if any of them loose faith, they won’t be an asset, they’ll be a liability. He doesn’t know, can’t know, what they’re going to find. 

He goes back to the drawing board. And he has an idea. He goes out to coffee with the head of medical, and thinks how to phrase his question. Unfortunately, he’s been going off four hours of sleep for a few days now. He blurts out, “Who’s the worst cleric in the IPRE?” 

He meant to phrase it better, more delicately, say that he’s looking for a cleric who isn’t as defined in a god but more in their faith. He’s looking for someone who will put the team before any religion. He needs someone of faith that he can put his faith  _ in _ . 

He doesn’t get a chance to explain this, because the head of medical says, immediately, with no hesitation, “Merle Highchurch.” 

Flushed, he thanks her, and finds out Merle’s office. He tries to get a full night of sleep, knowing that the worst cleric in the IPRE might actually be the right mix of skill but the right outlook Davenport needs his people to have. Hoping, really. 

When he arrives at the office, Highchurch’s office door is wide open. He knocks, but doesn’t get a response, so he pokes his head in. The office is covered in plants, covering every available surface, and more, since Highchurch has hanging baskets. He gets caught up in admiring a particularly beautiful flower he doesn’t recognize, and doesn’t hear the dwarf approach. 

“Captain Davenport, what brings you to my neck of the woods?” asks the dwarf.

“Was that a pun?” he asks. Then he realizes what Merle has said. Merle also seems to take a minute to realize what was said. It doesn’t matter, Davenport is professional, and this mission is everything to him. Once everything is over, he can take action. He needs Merle- Highchurch, he needs Highchurch as a cleric for two months. Then he can, well, be more personal. 

“I’m actually here to talk to you about an opportunity.”

“I’m listening,” says Merle, with an open expression and Davenport believes him immediately. 

Merle Highchurch, it turns out, is perfect. Not actually, he spends the first ten minutes making the worst tea Davenport has ever had. He strokes the plants in the room in a way that makes Davenports pants tighter than comfortable. But he’s a great healer. He’s jovial and content. He’ll do well in a team, says the analytical part of his brain as he pushes down the part that’s screaming, “THIS IS YOUR SOULMATE!” 

“Why do you want to be part of this mission?” he asks, with a professional tone. 

“I’d always hoped I’d get to be part of an adventure,” says Highchurch. Which is already better than the top three clerics answers. But he needs at least one fear quelled. 

“You aren’t the first cleric I’ve talked to about this mission,” he starts. “But you’re the first to not immediately want to prove the existence of your god. Why is that?”

Highchurch looks at Davenport, and smiles. “I don’t need to prove that Pan exists. That’s not have being a cleric works. Either Pan exists and allows me to power my magic, or something else out there admires my faith. I don’t need to track down my god because he’s all around me, as far as I’m concerned.” 

“Welcome to the crew,” Davenport hears himself say. 

It occurs to him as he crawls into bed that he’s just arranged to be trapped in a ship for two months with his soulmate, who he can’t court, not while he’s the other mans direct superior, with only five other people. He’s sure it’ll be fine. 

 

Lup and Taako are fashionably late to a party in their honour. Well, technically their whole crew’s honour. But it’s the first time they’ll met anyone else on the crew. They need to make the right impression. 

So, naturally, they show up fashionably late, dressed to the nines, and immediately joke about everyone and everything under their breathes in Elvish. They’ve met everyone on the crew within the first half hour. Davenport, their captain, they knew already. Lucretia is nice, Lup is happy they’ll be another girl on board, even if she’s quiet and bookish. There’s passion in her eyes that is both reassuring and exciting. Magnus is a large hyperactive puppy. Merle, Taako calls in the first thirty seconds, will definite hook them up with some good weed. They appreciate his balls to pull off fantasy hawaiian print at a formal event. 

“And that one is Barry,” says Taako, in Elvish, gesturing to human, wearing honest to god Bluejeans. 

“What he’s last name?” Lup asks.

“Can’t remember. But he’s Barry Bluejeans now. Who wears denim to a formal occasion?”

“Be nice Taako,” she chides. He stares open mouthed at her. But Barry is close by, and seems to know their talking about him. She takes a leap and tests something. She makes eye contact and says “I don’t know, he seems nice.” 

Barry, for his part, hears the words he’s wanted to know one thing about his entire life. “Are you talking about me?” Only, he’s so nervous, he misconjucates “talking” in Elvish. 

Both her and Taako’s eyes widen. 

Lup recovers first, sticks out a hand, and says, “I’m Lup.” 

He takes it, and says, “Barry Bluejeans, apparently.” Lup’s face lights up, she laughs, and she’s beautiful and radiant and Barry falls in love right then and there. 

 

The morning before the morning they launch, Lucretia moves all her things into her room on the Starblaster. She brings as many journals as she can. She brought less clothes to bring more books. Barry seems to appreciate that. She’s not sure how many pairs of jeans he brought, but she’s willing to bet he didn’t bring any other pants. They do compare titles to make sure they don’t bring duplicates to bring as many books as possible. He has good taste. 

She sits on the side of the bed she’ll sleep on for two months. She rolls up her sleeve, to look at her soulmark. She doesn’t understand it, or why she has it. She’s never had any interest romance or sex. Aro ace, is the term she finds. Some people like her don’t have marks. Some have other aces. She would like to be in the first category. Nonetheless, her mark says, “We missed you so much and we’re so proud.”

 

They watch their home be consumed. They escape. Lucretia’s mark doesn’t scar, even with the destruction of everything she’s known. 

And they move forwards. 


	2. the best thing (this life has yet to lose)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all right, this is it, the stolen century!! 
> 
> shout out to everyone on the tfw discord for being s great community and to shannon for yelling at me
> 
> this chapters title comes from sight of the sun by fun. which is SUCH a jam.

“I had a reanimated cat skeleton named Tito at home,” says Barry, lounging on the common room floor they all had been sleeping in for the first week. “I miss him.”

Five heads turn to stare at him. Magnus pets his hair sympathetically. Magnus misses Tito too. 

“I  _ am _ a necromancer,” he says. 

“So you found a fucking cat skeleton and figured what, it was time to see what terror incarnate looks like?” asks Taako. 

“Not exactly,” he says. Now Magnus looks interested, never having heard this story. 

“Some kids killed my cat when I was younger. It was my fault, and Tito shouldn’t have suffered like that. For me. So I gave her a second chance.” 

Taako still looks bewildered, ready with another comment or five. 

“How old is younger?” asks Lucretia. 

“Thirteen,” he says, casually. 

“Shit Barold,” says Lup, his soulmate. 

No one asks, but he thinks it, and knows they all do as well, wondering if he could pull that same trick on their home. 

 

They aren’t a great team to begin with. At first, it’s because of grief. Lucretia, Barry, and the twins all hide away. Merle smokes in his room. Magnus will just cry in the middle of the common areas. Davenport has no idea what to do with them. He instigates team dinners, but none of the rations are particularly appetizing. The twins don’t show up. Lucretia doesn’t say anything. 

He tries a games night, but Taako cheats at every game, even fantasy shoots and ladders. It starts three arguments, and Davenport breaks them up, and no one leaves  _ angry _ but they’re no closer as a team.

He’s trying to figure out what training exercises he can run when he hears Magnus crying, in the common area. Before he has a chance to try and comfort the kid, and he’s struck by how  _ young  _ they all are, Merle rushes in. With weeds. 

Merle teaches Magnus to smoke, and when the smell permeates the ship, Taako and Lup come out. Lup hands Taako ten dollars reluctantly, and then Merle gets them set up. Barry and Lucretia venture out. Lup and Magnus are both doing it, so Barry joins in. Lucretia is giggling and writing down as much as she can. 

“For prosperity, Captain,” she says, laughing. 

“I think you can call me Davenport,” he says, figuring the literal end of the world means they can have this. 

“DAD’N’PORT!” yells Magnus, with a shit eating grin on his face. “SINCE YOU’RE OUR TEAM DAD!” Everyone seems thrilled with this development. Then they get hungry, and Taako and Lup volunteer to make cookies. Davenport and Lucretia are recruited to help, since they have “sober hands.” They make as, Lucretia notes, officially, since he’s apparently hired  _ children _ , “a metric fuck ton” of cookies, which are the best thing anyone’s eaten in weeks. 

Eventually, they end up in the first of many, many, puppy piles on the couch and liberated blankets and pillows.

Davenport looks to Merle, and tries to say  _ thank you _ with his eyes. Merle winks. Davenport, flushes, looks away and starts to worry that he’s not going to be good at this professionalism thing. 

 

Taako wonders, in the third or fourth cycle, if he has a soulmate, somewhere, in the multiverse, but they are part of a world that died before the Hunger got there. He wonders if he was born with a scared soulmark because he was never going to meet his soulmate. He wonders if it would be worth talking to Barry about it. Barry, who is his sisters soulmate. Barry who is the smartest person he’s ever met. Definitely the nerdiest. Who’s a necromancer and, well. 

Maybe. 

It probably doesn’t matter. This is already better than he thought he and Lup would ever get. He can be satisfied with that. 

 

Magnus is the only one on the Starblaster without a soulmark. Which is weird, sometimes. He knows that Barry and Lup belong to each other, and that Barry is madly in love with her. The twins are hard to read. Taako has a scarred mark, but he did before they left. He caught Magnus looking at it. He actually pulled Magnus aside, in that first or second cycle, and said “Don’t look at me like that. It’s been scarred my entire life. It doesn’t matter.” 

Magnus had, in response, rolled up his sleeve to show off his blank space. 

“I know,” was all he has said. 

But his good feeling isn’t gone. It’s shifted though. It feels less desperate. Like whoever his soulmate is, they’re okay with him being where he is. Like they know he’s safe, for now, at least, with these people. 

 

Merle’s soulmate is his captain on mission that so far has no possible ending other than the end of the world. He, Merle Highchurch, has never flirted with another person. Just plants. He’s out of his fucking depth. 

And he tries, he tries so hard. He flirts, and smiles and laughs, and Davenport just walks the other way. Until one day, in one of the early cycles, when they were adjusting to cycles, the rest of the crew was out of the Starblaster. And Merle comes out of his bunk to maybe heat some leftovers, and Davenport is just, sitting there, shaking slightly. 

“Hey Cap,” he says, casually as he can. 

“Sorry Merle, this is unprofessional of me,” says Davenport, unsteady beyond belief.

“That’s not true. I’m the cleric. Therefore I’m the only one who has to be professional right now.” Amazingly, that’s the right thing to say. Alright then. 

“As the ships cleric, I’m saying you need to relax,” he continues.  Davenport gives him an incredulous look. 

“Not like that!” he says. Davenport laughs, but starts shaking a little bit again. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. Davenport shakes his head. 

“That’s okay,” he says. “I can be quiet.” So Merle pulls out a journal Lucretia gave him to document the floral and fauna of the worlds they visit. And he sits beside his soulmate, who he will help, damnit. He starts sketching one of the leaves he’s been documenting. He’s not great at drawing, but he knows what plants should look like, and he traces outlines until he knows where to put the line. Its slow going, but it’s satisfying. 

Davenport watches with rapt interest, gently placing his head on Merle’s shoulder like he wasn’t sure it belonged there. Merle is very careful to stay still, but stay relaxed, to let the other man know he’s welcome.  

By the time Merle finishes the leaf, Davenport has fallen asleep against his shoulder. He does a quick check to make sure the gnome won’t fall wake up if he lays him down. Then falls asleep himself. 

 

“I know I’m being stupid about this,” says Lup, pacing, breaking in a pair of newly transmuted boots from leather given to them from god knows what animal. 

Taako is laying on her bed, holding a glass of wine that’s comically full, in the red bathrobe he brought to bug Davenport, and he says, “You definitely are.” 

“He’s my soulmate,” she says, and Taako takes another sip.

“So?” says Taako. “The universe cleary has it out for us, since  _ this _ is our lives. Why do you have to listen to it’s romantic advice?” 

Lup pauses. 

“Listen, Lulu, he’s a  _ human guy _ ,” says Taako, with all the disdain he can give those words. 

“A smart human,” she says, pacing again. If Taako was the caring person, he’d worry about her feet getting blisters. 

“A nerd,” interrupts Taako. He doesn’t ask if she’s got good socks on. When she goes on like this is hard not to worry about her. Because she’s losing it, so she might have lost all fashion common sense. Especially since Barry owns, at max, five pairs of jeans, and that’s it. 

“A sweet nerd,” she adds. 

“Oh shit!” says Taako. “You like him!”

“No I don’t,” she says, but she’s blushing. She’s moved to sit on the bed. 

“Oh no,” says Taako, refusing to look at her. 

“Yeah,” says Lup, flopping down on the bed. 

“There’s probably something wrong with him,” says Taako. “You just have to find it.” 

“So you want me to spend more time with my soulmate?” asks Lup, ears perking up. 

“No, this situation is win-win,” says Taako.

“Explain,” says Lup, eyes narrowing. 

“You find out what the universe is trying to fuck you over with, and I get entertainment of whatever dumb shit Barold does when he’s not with the rest of the crew,” Taako explains. 

“Whatever you say Koko,” says Lup. “Any new thoughts about your mark?”

“Like I said, the universe is trying to fuck us over.” 

Lup lets it drop, and they sit quietly for a little bit. Then they go make dinner.    
  


Lucretia writes. She watches, and she writes. She watches Davenport work himself to the brink, worrying and planning and hoping, and then rest against Merle’s side. The dwarf will draw, and he’s really getting better, and Davenport will get himself together. They’ll have a few days, where they’ll orbit each other, closely, talk for hours. Davenport will look better, calmer. Merle really steps up as a father figure to them all, and flowers will bloom and keep in his beard and hair. Then they push each other away, calmly and quietly, Davenport will start calling them all by their rank and last name, and Merle will let the flowers wilt. And then a few days or weeks or months later, they find each other again. 

 

It worries her. Davenport is currently calling her Chronicalar Lucretia, which is hilarious to say outloud, but worrisome in every other way. So she’s going to talk to Merle. She knocks on his door, and notices his face fall when its her, which doesn’t hurt, not when she’s watched them dance this dance for nearly a decade. 

Merle offers her the shitty tea, which she knows not to take but is so worried she forgets to refuse. It’s actually a little soothing. 

“Have faith, Lucy,” says Merle calmly. “He’s going to be alright.”

“How?” she asks. 

“I have a good feeling about it,” Merle says.

She raises an eyebrow, “Merle, what’s in the tea?”  

“Nothing that’ll have that impact,” he says, smiling. “Dav knows, Davenport knows what he needs. Or at least, he needs to figure it out. We have time though, don’t we?”

Lucretia is a human who looks twenty two even though she’s in her thirties now. She’s keenly aware of time. 

“I guess we do,” she says. 

“And that’s faith,” says Merle, spreading his hands like that makes sense.    
  
  


Lucretia watches that faith in action. She watches it when Merle casts zone of truth when no one can stop squabbling when the cabin fever rises. She watches it test Davenport, as he flies away while Merle goes down with the first church of Fungston. She watches Merle reform in a bundle of light. It’s beautiful, she thinks. She watches Merle go off with Davenport. They’re gone for hours. Lup and Taako make a feast, and everyone looks at each other, wondering if they should go check in. 

She offers to “go check on the dads,” as Magnus puts it. 

They’re curled around each other, the captain curled against Merle’s chest in such a way that he can hear the dwarf’s heartbeat. They’re asleep, and holding each other tight. She turns out the light and closes the door softly. She thinks about drawing it, as she writes down the days events in distant terms. It seems too intimate to recreative. 

Instead, they make up plates and put them in the fridge for later. 

 

Lup has found flaws with Barry. He’s harsher on himself than he needs to be. He gets focused and single minded and can’t be torn away. He stares when he thinks she’s not looking.

But she likes him anyways. 

She watches him fix up a little robot, and he keeps getting shocked. But he’s patient. He’s kind. He laughs when he sees her smiling.

She won’t admit it when she and Taako have their sibling bitch session, but he’s right. He smiles and knows it anyways. He makes her the good hot chocolate, and they spike it with fantasy Irish Cream. Taako and her dye her hair, a bright neon blue and he bleached his but doesn’t take a colour. The crew compliment them, Merle weirdly being the most enthusiastic, and Barry turning bright red and having to make a dumb excuse to leave the room. 

 

It’s the beach year. The sun is hot, and the ocean looks inviting when Barry sticks his toes in when no one is looking. Magnus comes out of water, glittering from the water, faded top surgery scars proudly out. Barry has both the lightest binder that he can stand, that still isn’t doing a good enough job today, and a shirt over it. He’s dying a little in the heat. 

Magnus comes and sits next to him, and asks, “Are you doing alright?”

Barry replies, “It’s hard to love a beach when you can’t swim.” He’s not all that upset about it. He’s scared of the ocean anyways. He doesn’t like that it goes on forever on this planet.

“Can you not swim because you don’t know how, or because you  _ can’t swim _ ?” asks Magnus, tactfully avoiding saying, “because you can’t swim well in binders.” He’s not ashamed, it would be hard to be, especially with Magnus “that alarm clock is transphobic,” Burnsides and Lup “I’m glad you like my tits, my brother made them,” on the crew. He just wouldn’t know how to come out at this point. 

Then, “I actually have an idea,” says Barry. 

“Okay,” says Magnus, “I’ve got your back.”

After dinner, which Taako cooked which mean he didn’t have to help clean up for, Barry goes off and asks Taako if they can talk.

“Is this about the fact my sister is your soulmate?” asks Taako, in an icy tone. But there’s a look behind his eyes that reminds Barry of Tito. 

“No,” says Barry, because it’s not, and he can only deal with one major part of his life at a time. 

“Okay,” says Taako, “What can I do for you?” 

“You know how to do, the, um, transmutations that, um, you know?” says Barry, with generally weird gesturing, the most nervous he’s been in years, and the least coherent in twice as long.

Taako narrows his eyes, then says, “Barold, are you trans?” 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’ve been duplicating my testosterone at the beginning of every cycle, and I’ve got binder, but you can’t swim in those, and it’s just-” 

“I get it,” says Taako. “I'm not about labels personally.” Then he grins as says, “Come on Barold, I’ve got shit for you to see.”

Taako leads him to his room, which is full of the most eclectic group of clothes Barry has ever seen, and then he sees all the spell components, spell books, and assorted crap, which can only  _ very generously  _ be called souvenirs from all the world’s they’ve seen. 

“Transmutation is a time and a half, my man,” says Taako, refusing to explain further. He instead grabs a spellbook.

“So, remember you’re talking to the greatest transmutation wizard on this plane-” starts Taako. 

“- the only-” starts Barry, and stops when Taako gives him a look. 

“-The  _ greatest _ transmutation wizard on this plane, who can make all your wildest dreams come true.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So what will it be Barold? Everything? I’m assuming you want your hormones to regulate themselves, natch, flat chest, easy, do you want a flesh dick? We can do you a flesh dick,” Taako seems thrilled. 

“All of the above?” Barry asks, voice hopeful. 

“Yeah, we can do that my dude,” Taako says, still happy, but calmer, almost softer. “Go bother someone else for like an hour to let me prep.” 

“Okay. Thanks Taako,” he say, and he leaves the room.

“Don’t mention it.”

Magnus meets him and hugs him and they happy dance in the privacy of the darkness of the ship.

Two hours later find Barry crying in the shower, after crying while admiring himself in the mirror. He hadn't had the money to transition and then never had confidence, with his reputation at the university. He smiles for a week straight, and sits very carefully for a few days, upon receiving what Taako called his “flesh dick.” Magnus hugs him for like two hours. 

Taako then surprises him with swim trunks and says he’s already done half the work, and the hard part, in making sure Barry can swim. Barry tells him that Lup can know about what Taako did.

“I can’t believe you’re giving me permission to brag to my sister about expanding my repertoire,” jokes Taako. “I like you, Barold.” Both of them are surprised by the sincerity in his voice.    
  


Not that she knows until later, but Lucretia sketches the first time Barry takes his shirt off outside, to cheering, and then later, helps Magnus drag her into the water. 

“The humans have to stick together,” says Barry laughing. 

“Plus, it’s nice in the water,” says Magnus. 

Lucretia wouldn’t call the water  _ nice _ , but it is  _ fun _ , to sit on Magnus’s shoulders while Lup sits on Barry’s and they try to push each other off. The water is cold, but she enjoys herself anyways. 

This, she thinks, is what a family feels like. 

Then, they get hammered on that very beach, and she tells every family every single filthy joke she’s ever heard that she thought she would never be able to tell. Davenport and Magnus both blush, but eventually she gets them. She likes their reaction to the particularly deadpan ones, when she realizes she can utter nonsense with a straight face, they laugh the most. They’re howling laughing by the end, and her throat is slightly sore from talking for so long. 

“Lucretia,” says Lup after a particularly dirty one, in a drunken slur, “You are  _ fun. _ We’re keeping you.” 

 

There’s a world, made entirely out of ruins. Lup and Barry go out to look for the light. She likes spending time with Barry. He’s a quiet, a calm sort of gentleman. He’ll listen patiently to her for hours as they walk through creepy old buildings, occasionally interrupting with a  _ dead _ pan (damn, he’s rubbing off on her) joke about necromancy, or pausing to look at something weird and ask her what she thinks. 

That said, some things, nerdy things he cares about, he can talk about for a while. It’s interesting, and he’s knowledgeable, and she likes how his voice sounds. She doesn’t love the energy of some of the spaces they find themselves in. But it’s impossible to be scared with Barry talking about everything he knows about the light, or the bond engine, or subjects she actually can match knowledge with, theoretical arcana knowledge and long running debates about artificing. 

Late at night, they’ll talk about growing up trans. Lup is proud and confident in ways Barry want so desperately to be, one day. 

It’s almost disappointing when they track down the light. She likes spending time with him. She doesn’t want to have to go back quite yet. She wants to live in their sweet little, slightly creepy, world for two.    
  


Some world’s have soulmates. Sometimes people hide their marks, and Taako is arrested for refusing. Sometimes people are thought to be evil spirits in disguise without a mark, and Magnus is killed by a superstitious queen in exchange for the light. Some worlds are empty, with remains of civilization and skeletons with marks engraved on the bones. 

 

Lucretia doesn’t know what to make of Taako. He’s brash and loud and doesn’t seem to like people. Or her. But she can’t sleep one night. She walks to the kitchen, maybe to grab a glass of water. 

Taako is sitting on the counter, reading through an ancient looking cookbook. There’s a stack of other ones on the counter beside him. She actually recognizes one as one her mother used to have. 

He looks up and sees her. He gives her a little half smile. “What are you doing up, Lucy?” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she says, shrugging, “What are you doing?”

“Lup missed some food from home. This world has the most similar food we’ve found so far. Well, the best substitutes,” he says. 

She goes to get herself a glass, filling it with water. 

“But,” he continues, “I couldn’t remember what changes I’ve made because they taste better and which ones I’ve made because we don’t have a choice. It’s been awhile since either of us cooked directly from Auntie’s cookbook. So I’m going back to the og and seeing what magic I can work.”

“Literally,” Lucretia says with the dry wit Taako brings out in her.

“Literally,” says Taako. He follows her gaze, to the pile of cookbooks from home. “What’s your poison Lucy?”

“My mother had that cookbook,” she says slowly. “I don’t remember which of her recipes where from it, and what came from other ones.”

He puts down the ancient tomb that apparently is a heirloom, and picks up the pretty glossy cookbook that looks wrong in his hands not her mothers. He hands it to her. She flips through, stopping at one recipe near the back of the book. 

She shows it to Taako, “I think this was her carrot cake recipe, but my little brothers were allergic to cinnamon, and I can’t remember her substitute.” 

Taako scans the recipe and says, “Yeah, we can work this.”

He holds out a couple glass jars of spices and makes her smell them, and then adds and takes away from that main group until she thinks it smells right. Then he looks over the spices they have out, and has her write down the first group, then makes five other groups she writes down next. Then he pulls out a huge back of conjured carrots from some wilting vegetables that Lucretia doesn’t recognize, and a fantasy food processor. He hands her the carrots and a knife and says “Start cutting the ends off and washing those. We have at least six cakes to make and those carrots are on a time limit.”

Cake trial number 5 is a success, and after finishing her slice, Lucy starts yawning uncontrollably, and Taako pushes her to the couch. She refuses to sleep without him resting too, despite the fact he tells her “Elves don’t need sleep.” He falls asleep curled up with him.

 

The rest of the crew finds the cake delicious and the pair sleeping too adorable to be mad about the mess in the kitchen.    
  


By the time they hit Tessaralia:

Magnus has died five times. All of them are pretty stupid ways to go, by everyone else’s standards. He goes out protecting people, every time. He tends to go out smiling. Whenever he reforms, they crowd him, Barry will warn him that if he does it again, he’ll resurrect Magnus just to kick his ass. 

Lup has died three times, she always goes down fighting the hunger at the end of the year. Barry feels the pain in his wrist as his mark scars over. The shock is painful and intense, and by the time it fades, they’ve reset and Lup is back in his arms. Well, his and Taako’s. 

Barry died twice. Once is in her arms, after winning the fight with a local group for the light. He’s bleeding from a major stomach wound, they’re six months into the cycle, and she feels him die, and it hurts, its hurts so much. The second time is after Lup’s third death, as he shocks out when she goes, and he gets destroyed by the Hungers forces as well. 

Merle has died once. Davenport had barely felt the loss, too caught up in keeping his family alive. But his wrist, though soulmark reset, aches for weeks. Davenport doesn’t ever want to do that again. 

 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like the universe is on their side. 

Merle learns to secret to Parley. The first time, it seems like another force on their side. Davenport muddles through the short rest of the year. He’s fine. It’s fine. 

Then it keeps happening. He watches Merle fade away as the Hunger, John, fades away. He watches the man he loves, and he loves him, dammit, fade. His mark scars over, and aches. The flowers don’t bloom anywhere near the ship for the rest of the year. He hates being alone. He hates it so much. 

It very rapidly stops being fine. They fight, screaming, arguing if it’s worth it, what the Hunger knows. Merle’s faith, it becomes a liability. It hurts Davenport. 

“What am I supposed to do without you!” he yells, in the five year of fighting. 

Merle looks at him with sad, sad eyes. “I don’t like it either Dav. But I think I can end this. I have to believe I can help. I want peace. I can get it for us. Frankly, we deserve it.” 

“I want peace  _ with you _ ,” says Davenport. “You’re my soulmate.” 

Merle reaches out, and hugs him. Davenport holds on like the dwarf is a lifeline. 

They hold on for a few minutes. Then, Merle says, “I’m your soulmate. But I also have a duty.” And they both understand duty. They feel it in their bones. It got Davenport out of bed on bad days. It held Merle through crises of fate through his younger years. 

“There’s a compromise here,” says Merle.

“Yeah,” says Davenport, “There’s a balance.”

Then: 

“Can we cut the crap?” Merle says, with confidence he didn’t know he had. “I’m old. It’s been four decades.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like it would be alright-” Davenport says, cut off with a kiss. It’s soft and passionate, and Merle’s hands hold his face nicely. He leans in, and there’s Merle, leaning against him. There’s a lot to balance, but this part  comes easily.

 

There’s balance, and then there’s a break. There’s the legato conservatory. 

Merle and Davenport each refuse to show each other their projects, but any other free moment are spent together, always holding hands. Merle is the first to initiate a kiss in front of the crew, where Magnus hollered, “those are  _ our _ dads!” with pride, and Lup and Taako shrieked in horror, “those are our  _ dads _ !” 

“It’s team bonding,” insists Merle.

“What?” adds Lucretia, in her  _ too casual  _ tone, “shared trauma?” 

Which means Davenport is laughing when the distance between their mouths close. 

 

Lup and Barry, by comparison, are secretive. Not even Taako knows what they’re doing, even though Lup and him have at least one day a month to themselves. 

Mostly, they practice. They practice and they write, and rehearse and rewrite. They push each other, learning scales and other fundaments at competitive paces. When Lup’s shoulder cramp, Barry massages it. When Barry’s fingers stiffen, Lup carefully warms them to relax them. They learn to take care of each other. They both end up carrying the other to bed at least once. When they need a break, they grab Taako, so they can’t talk about their project, and go out to dinner. Barry watches the twins critique food and laughs along with them. They develop his palette, one time, he goes toe to toe with Taako about a dish. He thinks Taako is being harsh and is  _ wrong _ . 

There’s a minute of silence when Barry finishes his defence, then Taako laughs.

“I’m just goofing, Barold. You pass having a decent palette. You’re allowed to order and test wine for us now.” 

Barry starts laughing, and Lup joins in, and they get stares, but Barry doesn’t care. It’s nice. It’s really nice. 

There’s a moment, about eight months in, where Barry just freezes. 

“What if we don’t get this right Lup?” he asks. 

“We’re going to get it right, Barold,” she says calmly. 

“What if we don’t?” He says, starting to freak out. 

“Barry,” she says, holding his hands and looking him in the eyes. “We are going to nail this. You know we are. You’re brilliant and talented. I’m brilliant and talented. We have time. We are going to nail this.” 

Backstage, waiting to perform, he returns the favour. Lup looks incredible in her dress, which is black and tight and sparkly. He holds the hand no holding her violin and until he can only see love her in eyes. 

They do nail it. 

She holds his hand. He holds hers. And with their song echoing in everyone’s mind, they find a corner.

“Hey there, soulmate,” she says, with a flush to her cheeks. 

“Are you talking about me?” he says, in Elvish, with the wrong conjugation for “talking.” She laughs, and then she leans in and kisses him. 

It feels like coming home.    
  


Lucretia and Magnus are leaving the cave, having spent the night with the baby jellyfish. 

“Do you have a soulmate?” asks Magnus.

“I have a soul _ mark _ ,” Lucretia says. Magnus smiles. “I’m sixty five years old, Magnus Burnsides, and I’ve never wanted a soulmate. I’m very deeply aro ace. I have a mark. But I don’t thinks there’s a person out there for me. I hope not.”

“We have the opposite situations,” says Magnus, kindly. “I don’t have a soulmark. I have a good feeling though.” 

“A good feeling?” she asks. 

“A very good feeling,” says Magnus, with the shy smile. She can count on one hand the times she sees it through their century together.     
  


Then they’re running. They have Fisher and then they’re back in the endless cycles. It’s Davenport lonely for six months instead of twelve, as agreed upon by Merle. It’s Lup and Barry’s excessive PDA, until one day Taako drags them aside and tells them in no uncertain terms “I made both your junk, and I swear to Pan if you make me witness them in action I will kill you both.” 

It’s Lucretia and Barry and Magnus taking a day for Team Human. They reorganize Lucretia’s library, they go fishing, and they cook their food over a campfire. It’s a good day. They call each other brother and sister.

It’s Merle making sure to carve out quality time with all the crew before he goes to Parley with John. 

Some worlds they lose lots of people. Sometimes the locals are hostile, and lash out. Sometimes Lup or Barry or Merle of Davenport walk around with scarred marks for months, and everyone else puts in whatever they can to keep the other half present and well. Sometimes, when they lose Lup, Taako and Barry hold onto each other for dear life. If they lose Taako and Barry, they lose Lup. It only happens once, but it’s hard. They don’t often lose Davenport, but he feels Merle’s loss every time. It’s a lot of times.

Lucretia feels all of it.

And then she’s on her own. Her family was there, and then they were  _ gone _ . She stays alive. She repairs the ship as best as she can, with Davenport’s voice in her ears. She stays alert, with Magnus’s, her brothers training in her bones. She keeps hope with Barry and Lup’s song. She feeds herself with Taako’s critiques stowed away. She holds onto Merle’s faith, not in Pan, but in herself, to save her family. She stands in front of Fisher’s tank, and lives through memories of her family when it all gets too much. 

She worries, a month in, that’s she’s going to lose it. Humans need social contact. Solitary confinement is illegal on their home world. Was. Whatever. She imagines herself as though she was made of metal, of liquid metals found on weird planes. She’s a survivor. When it’s hard to get out of bed, she tells herself she doesn't have a choice. It’s Taako in her ear then. 

When they come out from the light at the reset, she collapses to the floor. “I fucking made it,” she says. And her family surrounded her, and she can barely keep track of who is saying what, but it’s the two phrases she was worried about hearing her whole life, “We missed you,” and “We’re proud of you.” 

And she’s glad it’s them. 

 

There’s a cycle where the twins both die a few months in. Merle is gone, which is hard. It’s hard, they bring a lot of energy and fun and while no one on the ship is hopeless in the kitchen the way they were at the beginning, there’s no joy coming from the kitchen. 

Barry is taking it the hardest, Magnus knows. He just doesn’t know how to help. Barry doesn’t want to do anything. Magnus will go sit with him, but it’s not easy sitting still for hours, even if he is more patient. 

So he goes to Lucretia. Well, more appropriately, he knocks shyly on her door at three in the morning. 

“Good morning Magnus,” she says, opening her door. 

And suddenly, looking at her, he feels stupid, like he did until he met Barry. But he rushes in, doesn’t let that get the better of him. 

“Do you have any books Barry hasn’t read? And something that isn’t too complicated that I can read?” He holds up the coloured lens carefully, because they’re delicate and important to him, but he’s pretty sure Lucretia will know what they mean. 

“Yeah,” she says. “I can make that happen.” 

Lucretia has a lot of books. She’s copied down most of them, into very pretty, small handwriting, which means they can keep so much more, but Magnus can’t read it. So the original plan gets sidetracked as they get Barry’s scientific know-how, and Davenports illusion magic involved. It takes a couple hours to find the right lettering, the four of them experimenting to find what’s the easiest to read. Once they find it, Davenport enchants the journals Magnus is interest in reading to match that printing. 

It’s quiet, but the four of them can fit on the couch, all in contact and read together. It’s not a fix, but it gives them all some peace, and they get to be rooted in each other. 

 

The next cycle, no one dies. It’s another uninhabited world, but so toxic they can’t leave the ship. Davenport worries about cabin fever. But then everyone leans into the madness. Every celebration the twins embrace fully. Birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations they’ve picked up over decades of cultures. With the twins cooking up a storm, it’s hard not to get involved in the madness. Davenport uses illusion magic to change the atmosphere. Merle and Taako and Barry work together to create ridiculously potent an ridiculous ways of intoxication. 

Lup says, one night, drunk as all hell, “Everyone who's ever misgendered me is dead.”

Magnus says, “I'll drink to that!”

Then they're laughing and then they're crying and it feels like they're at home in their grief. 

They get to spend a year eating and drinking and curling up together. They’re a family. Lucretia does another drawing of them, and though they look the same as half a century ago, with their portrait on the beach year, it’s noticeably different. They hold themselves differently. They hold each other differently.    
  


Lucretia learns Shield of Faith. It comes easily with her family to protect. 

 

Barry, for a second there, wonders what the  _ fuck  _ he’s doing, subjecting the love of his life to the scariest use of necromancy. He thinks of Tito, and his careful planning combined with all the love he could give. So he goes back to planning, and roots everything he does, the scary shit, the vaguely immoral shit, the deadly shit, in love. 

When Lup and Barry become liches, their marks are engraved on their bones. When they go back to flesh bodies, they have scarred over marks. So they treat it like any other scar they might have, kissing each others marks often. It’s a reminder that they’re still together, and that they’re close, their so close they can taste it.

And then, Lup has an epiphany. She bursts into Taako’s room, and shows off her scarred mark. “Your soulmate could be undead!” 

“Holy shit,” says Taako, with hope he didn’t know he could have. 

“Yeah,” says Lup, stepping forwards to hold her brother. He is shocked stiff in her arms, but she hugs him anyways. He looks differently at his mark after that point. 

 

It’s getting harder, the closer they get to a full century. The air is more tense, the escapes closer. And Magnus’s feeling, it feels frantic. It feels pulled and stretched all wrong. He’s sitting with Fisher. 

“I guess you don’t have soulmates huh?” he says. Fisher hums, and Magnus can see all of Fisher’s family.

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t have important bonds?” Magnus tries to confirm. 

Fisher gives a little note that usually means yes.  

“Well that’s true for us as well,” says Magnus. Fisher shows off all their memories of the crew. Of his family. 

“But I’m still worried about my feeling,” says Magnus. 

“What feeling?” says Merle, from the door. Magnus jumps. Then Merle comes in and sits beside him. So Magnus explains. 

“What do you think it is?” Magnus asks.

“I have no idea,” says Merle. “But if it is your soulmate, I think it means good things are coming our way.” 

“Faith, right?” says Magnus, smiling but not joking. 

“It’s belief in something you can’t see,” says Merle. Fisher hums. 

“We’re on the same page there,” says Magnus. 

 

Lucretia knows what she has to do. She knows what she can do. But she’s outvoted. She holds her tongue. They do have time. So she can wait. 

 

On their hundredth reset, Magnus reforms last. Only by a few minutes, but those minutes scare the shit out of everyone involved. When he fully forms, he’s grinning. On his wrist, in black writing, says, “Watch it big boy.” His soulmark. He smiles for days straight, and they catch him tracing his soulmark with wide eyed amazement. 

And suddenly it’s not just another world. This is where Magnus’s soulmate lives. They won’t be able to come with them if this goes wrong. Her brother has waited over a hundred years for this. 

So when things start going wrong, when the Relics cause so much harm and suffering, when Magnus barely sleeps through the night, staring at his wrist in fear, when Lup goes missing. With Taako and Barry barely eating or sleeping, so consumed by their need to find her. 

Well, she’s not going to stand by. The universe, whatever cruel and powerful entity that has given her this family, also gave her this responsibility. 

 

Merle loses his soulmate. When he wakes up, there won’t be anything on his wrist, no scar, no nothing. 

Taako will wake up with a scar, with no memories and no reason to hope. 

Davenport, with no soulmate to inspire his mission, and no mission to fuel his relationship milestones, is a shell.

Lup is gone. 

Barry is gone.

And Magnus has a chance.

It’s not the compromise he would want, but it’s not just about him. It’s about what they’ve done and what they’ve seen. And what she knows. She just needs time, but time on this world. 

And she gets it. There’s a compromise. She gets the time she needs, and Lucretia, without her universe granted family, is alone. And when they are gone, finally, her mark scars.


	3. what piece i've lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you ever love something so much that you accidentally write 7k words about it?? 
> 
> anyways, I'm most terrified for this chapter and i hope i've done it justice. 
> 
> You might also notice the number of chapters has gone up, well I decided I had more feelings and narratively wanted to end it differently. So there we go. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Shannon 
> 
> Chapter title comes from Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face

Julia Waxman is born with a mark that reads, “I’m so sorry miss.” It’s a joke, for the first sixteen years of her life. The idea of someone mistaking  _ her _ for a girl, with her height and her strength. Then, well, it stops being a joke. She comes to the conclusion after puberty gives her a shape she doesn’t want. A body that feels wrong. For her eighteenth birthday, she asks for a new name.

“Julia,” says her father. “It’s what your mother picked out for a girl.” 

“She’d probably like that both names got used, wouldn’t she?” asks Julia. 

Stephen laughs with tears in his eyes, but manages, “Yeah, sweetheart, she probably would.” 

She’s well on her way to becoming one of the best craftswomen in Ravensroost, when a very large human man runs into her on the pathway home. He knocks the groceries right out of her hands. 

“Watch it big boy!” she says, and turns around to see a very cute man looking deeply horrified. “I’m so sorry miss,” he says, bending over to start cleaning up her groceries. 

Then after a few moments, he pauses and says, “I think I’m your soulmate.”

She laughs, not unkindly, she hopes, and then says, “Yeah, I think so.” 

He rises, holding her groceries, and says, “Can I walk you home, miss-,” 

“Waxman, Julia Waxman,” she says, “And I would like it if you did.” She’s holding out her arms for the groceries. He looks conflicted between being chivalrous and helping her and being sexist. He gives her one of the bags, taking one to hold for the walk home. She decides she likes that. 

“I’m Magnus Burnsides,” her soulmate says.  

“Magnus,” she says, smiling. She decides she likes the sound of his name on her tongue. She decides she likes his shy smile when she says it. 

She brings him home, and she decides she likes lots of things about him. She likes his sense of humour, and his bravery, and his insistence of petting every dog they come across on the way home from the market. She likes how he treats her father, she likes how he fits in but manages to create space for himself. She likes his honesty and how he cries and his face when she reads to him. 

And one morning, she gets up a little later, and in the kitchen he’s got her coffee made how she likes it, (a decent about of milk and a little bit of the vanilla infused syrup she only brings out on special occasions) and toast at her plate. He’s yawning slightly, with bedhead and bed beard, holding his own mug. She realizes she loves him. She tells him. He drops his mug. 

As they’re cleaning the coffee spill, he looks up to meet her eyes and says, “I love you too, Jules.” 

 

Merle Highchurch doesn't have a soulmark. That seems wrong, somehow. He looks at his wrist, or well, catches it out of the corner of his eyes, sometimes, and thinks he sees scar tissue. Which is also depressing, he guesses. 

Hecuba has a scarred mark. She’s strong and competent and  _ complete _ in a way he didn’t think people felt. He doesn't know what she could see in him. Except sometimes he’ll say something, something he doesn't know where it came from, and she looks at him, narrowing her eyes and studying his wrist. It feels like there should be a mark there. 

They don't talk about it. They don't talk about a lot of things, and it gets too much, and he feels bad. He walks out. They both knew it wasn’t going to last, but it feels wrong leaving his kids behind. But he feels restless and wrong. And then going back isn't an option. 

He likes Taako and Magnus. Well, they’re tolerable. Both have scarred soulmarks and he feels jealous, a little bit. It’s spelled out on their arms what they’ve lost and it earned a quite respect from everyone they met. He’s jealous even before they get powerful. 

When they find that dead red robe, they each notice the soulmark engraved on the wrist bone. At least, they think it’s a soulmark. No one can read it. It fills him with dread. 

 

Lucretia, Madame Director, stands and watches her brothers, who she's missed so much, and their eyes stare at the bracers that can cover the wrist. 

“Some members of the Bureau choose to hide a scarred or missing soulmark,” she says, as the boys silently stare at the bracers. “Some don't.”

Magnus grabs his bracer and leaves his scarred soulmark facing the world. It taunts her. She failed her brother. “It's not like I can forget anyways,” he says. 

“Exactly,” says Taako, covering his mark with the bracer. His has been scarred for the entire time Lucretia has known him. He’s never been hopeless. She has to bite her tongue to avoid telling him about the hope Lup gave him. 

Merle, Merle surprises her the most. He shouldn't be able to see anything, not with how tightly he is tied to Davenport and their mission. He leaves the wrist with the mark she can read clear as day exposed. 

“Faith,” Merle says, and shrugs. But he says it with darker humour. 

 

Taako both loves and hates not seeing his soulmark. It's been scarred over since he was born, and he doesn't know how he knows that. He doesn't really care. It's just the universe telling him that he’s alone, and it's best that way. 

That's the number one truth with Taako, so it doesn't matter if he can see the evidence or not. 

But there's a moment, after the bracer locks into place, where he can't help but worry it was wrong. It doesn't feel like a feeling that came from him. More like something was disappointed he gave up.

Whatever. It's not  _ his _ feeling.   
  


 

Barry dies, again. He remembers why his mark is scarred, why its engraved in his bones. Lup. God. He misses her so so much. 

He takes a minute to scream, to be angry and  _ miss his damn family _ . 

Then he collects himself and gets ready to go again. He has some time. He has to get it right eventually.   
  


 

Kravitz doesn’t have a soulmark while he’s alive. It bothers him. Not because he’s the only one, but because he wants one, unlike the way most who don’t have soulmarks are happy on their own. Then he dies. Then he meets the Raven Queen. He gets a body, and it can be anything he wants it to be. He looks how he likes, for the first time in his life, well, maybe it’s his afterlife. The only thing he can’t change is his soulmark. 

He has a soulmark. It’s on his flesh wrist when he has one, and it’s etched into the bone when he doesn’t. He’s thrilled. He is, however, worried about the text. Because it’s an awful long afterlife to have “ Hey thug, what’s your name, I’m about to tentacle your dick,” permanently on his body. It’s eternity, actually. 

But he smiles when he sees it. 

Until, his soulmate dies. And he goes and checks, trying to find them in the Astral Plane. He can never find them. The first time it happens, he’s devastated. Then, months later, his soulmate comes back. Every time it happens, he hopes his soulmate will show up. Every time it happens, it hurts, because his soulmate is ruining the order he’s dedicated his undead eternity to keeping. 

He’s going to have to track down his soulmate one day. He doesn’t want to. 

 

Taako, dammit, Taako  _ likes  _ these assholes. 

That said, he wasn’t prepared for Magnus to get drunk and start crying over his dead soulmate. It’s late at night, which means most people are sleeping. Taako though, he can meditate. Taako could choose not to leave his room, but the Umbra staff has thrown itself of the bed when he tried to meditate again, so he thinks, not for the first time, that the universe is out to get him. 

As he walks out, he can figure out what happened. Magnus woke up, got up to grab water or a snack, and just lost it on the floor. It’s four in the morning. It happens. 

Taako isn’t smart, but that comes pretty naturally to him. Maybe everyone else is dumber at four am. Doesn’t matter.

He plops himself down next to Magnus, and asks “What’s wrong big guy?” 

“I miss Julia,” he says. It’s weird, he says it calmly but still has tears tracking down his face. Taako stays quiet, without anything to say. He doesn’t have anyone to miss. 

Magnus keeps talking. “We had a strong connection. I felt her. I met her, and it was the greatest days of my life. But we didn’t have enough time.”

That, Taako can get behind. “There’s never enough time,” he says. 

“I’m sorry,” says Magnus. “Yours is scarred too, right?”

“Yeah,” he says. “But I didn’t ever meet them. So it’s not like that.”

“I’m sorry,” says Magnus again. He looks exhausted, but he still has too much emotion in his face and eyes and voice. This isn’t Taako’s game. 

“It’s fine,” he says. And Magnus smiles and says, “You always say the sweetest things.”

“Anything else on your mind, if this is sharing time?” Taako asks, mostly so he doesn’t have to do this again. 

“I’m trans,” Magnus says, yawning. 

“So?” Taako asks, “I’m not about the gender binary myself, bubbleh.”

“Are you cool with he/him?” Magnus asks. 

“Yup,” says Taako. Magnus is yawning heavily now. 

Magnus curls around him like a particularly warm and gentle boa constrictor. Taako meditates, so he doesn't get bored. Not so he stays still, lest he wake up the exhausted man. Not that at all. This isn’t Taako’s game.   
  


Angus McDonald is a bright boy. So obviously he knows how soulmates work. His mark says, “You’re Angus McDonald!” which is exciting. He’s soulmate’s printing is a little messy but it has a lot of personality. It’s nice. When he’s lonely, which is a lot, he can stare at the concrete evidence that there’s someone out there for him. 

And he knows the less nice sides of soulmates. He’s a detective, and even if he’s young, he’s seen scarred soulmarks. He’s helped a client track down a soulmate after his mark was removed. The soulmate had cried, they thanked Angus profusely and tipped him well. 

But the three men on the train are something else  _ completely. _ And he doesn’t even mean their personalities, which are a whole different discussion. Taako hides his mark under a bracer that apparently is on permanently. Angus wonders if he should offer to track Taako’s soulmate down, because there’s a story there. Magnus is more clear cut, he had a soulmate, her name was Julia, and she died. It’s beyond sad, the short, clipped sentences Magnus uses to explain it. Angus knows that style of speaking, of someone who if they get connected to the words they won’t be able to continue. That’s okay. Angus can be gentle with him. 

Then there’s Merle. He’s mean and self contained. 

It’s impossible to  _ focus _ on Merle’s wrist. So he’s curious.   
  


 

There’s a lot of dead soulmates on Faerun. There’s a cop and criminal who die in each other’s arms. There’s Magnus’s Julia, her brothers soulmate who she never got to meet. 

And then, Lucretia thinks, there’s her soulmates. All six of them, and it’s all so wrong. 

And then, Lucretia thinks, there’s all the dead soulmates hers killed. Hundreds and thousands of them. She doesn’t like the numbers game, but she will play it when she needs too. When she can’t sleep. 

Davenport is always there. It’s the worst, because she can tell how badly she hurt him, and he needs her. He alters between taking care of her with single minded determination, bringing her tea, but refusing to drink it himself. She figures out why about six months in, because it isn’t Merle’s terrible tea, that he drank with his soulmate. Sometimes, without instructions, and he isn’t a child, he understands everything, complicated ideas and requests, he loses his train of thought. She quickly realizes that it’s Juniors influence, forcing Davenports thoughts away from his mission. From his entire life. 

Davenport also spends his time with Fisher, staring at his wrist. He shouldn’t be able to see his soulmark, not with its ties to their mission. She doesn’t know what he sees. But she needs to know if she can help him.  

 

So, early in her plan, before the Bureau was even functioning, but after her time in Wonderland, left a message. She puts up a poster in a dark alley in Phandalin, reading “Ask me about the Animus Bell,” and a date and location. 

Barry, if he’s in lich form, will be able to read it.

Barry, in lich form, comes. 

“Hey Lucy,” he says as greeting. “You look terrible.”

“You are a lich in a church,” she says, refusing to look at the figure on the other side of the pew. They’re in a temple of Pan, which is the reason Lucretia thinks they haven’t been struck down. Merle’s god can’t figure out what to do with them. 

Probably because Davenport is sitting as close to the statue of Pan at the altar with his eyes closed, with the closest look to peace she’s seen on him since she did what she did. 

“Yeah,” says Barry. “Have you got tabs on all of them?” 

“Everyone seems okay. Magnus found his soulmate. Her name is Julia. He’s made some really good ducks,” and then she’s crying. 

He can’t hold her, not the way he would when they were missing part of Team Human on the Starblaster. She doesn’t know if he would if he could. 

“It’s okay, Lucy,” he says. “Let it out.” 

So she does. 

She doesn’t feel  _ better,  _ per say, but it all feels a little less crushing. He’s staring at her scarred over mark. His lich form physically shudders, like it’s fighting to hold it together. 

“Fuck, Lucy,” he bites out. 

“It’ll be Madame Director soon,” she says. She says it with more confidence then she has. 

“Right,” he says, “you’re a survivor.” 

“Says the lich in the church,” she says, again. 

He chuckles, or does the lich equivalent. It’s drier, but she’s never seen his real laugh when Lup wasn’t alive. She hoped that when they became liches she’d only hear the real sound from then on. 

“Do you have any idea how to help him?” she asks, gesturing to Davenport. Barry looks to Davenport, still in an almost trance like state. 

“If I had anything, we’d be talking about that right now,” he says. “If this helps, make it a regular thing. I’d look into treatment and management for any kind of amnesia or traumatic brain injury.” Barry sighs, “I almost just said, “Talk to Magnus.” But you should be the expert of Fisher’s power, now.” 

They sit in silence in a church Merle would have liked, in a way Merle always made seem natural. They sit still. Belatedly, she wishes they had weed. Except Merle was the one who got them high, and neither her nor Barry would know the first thing about smoking. Eventually Davenport rises from the dias. Lucretia rises to leave with him. Barry follows suit. 

She doesn’t see him again.

 

In forming the Bureau, soulmates meet. 

Carey and Killian meet for the first time in the training room. Carey says, “Are you Killian? The Director has told me a lot about you.”

Which has been written on Killian’s arm since she was born, which she’s been thinking about since she was hired by someone called  _ The Director.  _ She turns to look at the dragonborn woman standing in the training room, trying to take her all in. Killian lives a dangerous life and wants as much time as she can take from the universe. 

So Killian says, “Holy shit, it’s you,” just like she’s supposed to, according to Carey’s wrist. Carey stares back. Then, she smiles. 

 

When Avi is hired, he’s taken down to the Voidfish’s chamber, like every initiate, and hears Johann play, like every initiate. 

Avi says, “You’re incredibly talented.” A phrase Johann has heard countless times and variations of since becoming a bard. He’s stopped looking for a soulmate these days. 

“It’s not like it matters,” he says. Avi’s eyes widen, and Johann wonders if he’s being too cruel. The new hire seems nice, and is really attractive. 

“I’m your soulmate, dummy, so it matters to me.” Avi says, which gives Johann a whole new layer to his life. 

It gives Lucretia hope, that she can help soulmates find each other. That this was written in the plan for the universe. She hopes.   
  


Magic Bryan meets his soulmate, who becomes his fiance. And then he’s corrupted by the damage her family did to this plane. But without it, she doesn’t know how they would have met. When she goes down to visit Fisher’s tank, she stares up at them and doesn’t know how to feel.   
  


I t’s not a thing that happens on purpose. But everywhere Merle lives for an extended period of time, starts to double as a bit of a shrine for Pan. Merle’s room becomes very peaceful, full of flowers. The other Horny Boys will tell anyone who listens not to ask why. Merle has his bible which he keeps on a shelf with a little statue of Pan that Magnus made him. 

Pan doesn’t need a lot. 

Merle doesn’t get a lot. 

And somehow, a Pan alter on the moon travels through the rumor mill to Davenport. Davenport who come right in when Merle opens the door to see who it is. Davenport who sits carefully beside the makeshift altar. 

Well, Merle isn’t gonna stop a guy from being part of the faith. So he makes the two of them tea, and Davenport makes a face, but drinks it anyways. He even has a second cup. 

And they talk. 

Well, it’s not like any other conversation he’s had, but Merle asks questions, and Davenport’s inflictions as he says his own name allows for a conversation. It’s melodic and human and comfortable. It’s really nice. 

“Come by whenever you want,” says Merle when Davenport eventually rises. “It’s nice having another old man around.”

“Davenport,” says Davenport, in agreement, nodding his head.   
  


Merle asks her to come have a spa day. She goes, and it’s so hard, having one of her father figures so distrustful. He asks one question about his soulmark, “Do you think it could be something like the voidfish?” and she lies to him, says no, and only serves to sever his faith. 

Magnus gives her coupons for a free backrub. His printing is the same one they designed on the Starblaster, the one that’s easiest for him to read. She wishes she could congratulate him, she wishes she could show it off to Barry and Davenport. She knows she can never use it. 

Taako cooks for her. He’s the most changed, and it’s a relief to see at least this came through. She takes the macrons and eats them alone in her office, and she cries. They’re right there, and she misses them so much. 

Then she pulls herself together. She’s so proud of them. She’s so proud of everything they’ve accomplished. She’s so so close. It’s not easy. But it will be worth it.

 

Lup is not thrilled with the whole ‘being trapped in her own umbrella’ thing. She likes that Taako has the piece of mind to match the umbrella to his outfit. She’s missed him more than she has words for. Sometimes literally. But everything else is beyond frustrating. 

She wants to scream when Lucy just watches Taako seal his mark away. She wants to remind him that there’s hope, that Magnus found his soulmate after a century, that his soulmate could be undead, that he can’t give it up now! Not her brother. 

Instead. 

She has to watch, well, not really  _ watch _ , she thinks in Lucretia voice, her brother and her family deal with a situation from her brothers relic. It’s wrong. She can’t get over how  _ wrong  _ it all feels. She can laugh at their antics one minute, and then they’ll say something that flips the world around. And she can’t do  _ anything. _

It’s frustrating to not get to fight by her brother’s side. It’s frustrating to not have a voice. 

It’s frustrating to hear the  _ fucking grim reaper _ (she called it), say, “Well, this will be easier than I thought.” And to have Taako stay silent, shocked silent. She knows, even hidden away, he has his mark memorized. 

And she gets to hear her brother shout, “ Hey thug, what’s your name, I’m about to tentacle your dick!” Which means a) her brother is still in there and b) the goddamn  _ grim reaper  _ has  _ that  _ engraved on his wrist. It also means c) she didn’t get to see her brother meet his soulmate, for all intents and purposes, she wasn’t there. 

 

Merle feels stupid. He watches the pink crystal cover his hand, and his wrist, the space where he should have a soulmark, damnit. He should, and he doesn’t. 

“You can’t cut off my arm!” He shouts.

“You’re going to die!” says Magnus. “Your arm isn’t worth your life!”

“But I, I have to know if-” But Magnus has done what he needed. 

He tries to not let it bother him. It bothers him. But then there’s a soulwood arm, and an army to fight, and it’s still Candlenights of all things. 

His wooden wrist feels the same. It gives him the same feeling. So maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s better to have Pan on his side in this regard. Maybe Pan is lying to him. But he can see Davenport sitting peacefully among his plants, and knows there’s something there.  

Besides, Davenport finds his arm fascinating. He thinks the gnome must be able to feel Pan’s spirit, somehow. It’s a blessing, he decides, with the gnome holding his hand and playing with his fingers. It gets him used to it. He’s good at coexisting with the gnome, more than anyone else. 

(When Lucretia sees it for the first time, she has to work hard not to give herself away. Merle’s soulmark, instead of a pleasant, common black, is deep gold and glowing with energy.) 

 

Magnus struggles. 

She died in his arms. Sometimes he can’t the imagine out of his head. Which isn’t ideal. He’s just training, working out with hopes of getting it out of his head. But between the scar on his wrist standing out with the lights in the training dome, and his not so great sleep schedule, it’s not going so well. 

So when Carey comes over and ask, casually, “How long have you been there, my dude?” He just calls it a day. He doesn’t know why, but part of him needs a smoke. He pushes that down. He doesn't know where that come from. He puts down the free weights. 

“I miss her,” he says. He sits down on the bench. Carey sits beside him. 

“Tell me about her?” Carey asks. “I’d love to know. God knows you’ve heard everything about Killian.” 

“When we met, I ran right into her. I knocked all her groceries right out of her hands. I was so nervous and she was so beautiful. I walked her home, and she introduced me to her father, as her soulmate. Then they realized I was looking for an apprenticeship for woodworking, and they all but adopted me. 

We worked together, and we built ourselves a home. Literally. I don’t read well. But we would lie on the couch or in bed, and she would read out loud so we could share a story,” he’s crying a little bit, but Carey just says, “Can I give you a hug?”

“Yeah,” he says. When she’s curled around him, he continues. “I’m from Ravensroost.” He hears her sharp intake of breath. “We were part of the rebellion. We won and we got married. But then,” and he just stops. He’s quiet for a few minutes. 

“I wish I had married her that first day. I wish I had met her earlier. I wish I had more time to call her my wife.” 

They cry for a few minutes together. Longer than a few minutes.   
  


 

Kravitz wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Taako is beautiful and accomplished. Taako is his soulmate. And he’s waited  _ centuries _ for him. His soulmate covers his scarred over mark, his soulmate might have some powerful undead creature around, his soulmate doesn’t think he’s cut out for anything other than death missions. 

Kravitz doesn’t love these developments. 

But Taako. Taako is funny, and interesting, and so beautiful. They work out a deal, because Taako’s other deaths aren’t technically his fault, or Kravitz’s jurisdiction. 

Taako told him that their next meeting could be “all pleasure,” with a wink. So Kravitz is ripping the next hole in reality with flowers in the hand not wielding the scythe. 

He knocks on Taako’s door, who should be expecting him. Taako opens the door, dressed beautifully, a long skirt and a cute jacket. Taako takes the flowers and has a look on his face Kravitz had never seen before, just, his soulmate looking so open. Then he starts laughing as the flowers have wilted and died in Kravitz hands. Kravitz flushes and decides he loves the sound of Taako's laugh. Kravitz knows from that moment that he’s willing to do anything to see that look again. Taako recovers and invites Kravitz in so he can put the flowers in water. Taako ends up transfiguring an empty fantasy grey goose bottle into a vase. He’s adorable. 

They got out for dinner. It’s a high end place, and Taako is impressed. Kravitz knows about Glamour Springs. He knows Taako’s appreciation is hard won. They talk for hours. Kravitz talks about growing up without a soulmark. Taako mentions that his has been scarred since he was born. 

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says. “I’m sorry it took so long.” 

Taako looks at him carefully. “We’ll just have to make it worth the wait.” 

Taako doesn’t invite him in that night. Kravitz grins for a full day after that date. Whenever he closes his eyes, or travels through portals, he can see Taako across the table. His soulmate. But their next date, they get dessert to go, and they eat curled up on Taako’s couch, watching fantasy television, and then not watching fantasy television. 

They kiss and they laugh and, for the first time in a very long eternity, Kravitz feels  _ warm _ . 

 

No one knows what Madame Directors warnings are supposed to mean. 

After the Rockport Limited, they got Angus, or possibly Angus got them. 

After their adventures in Goldcliff, the mood is definitely more somber. With three reclaimers with capital-I-Issues around soulmates, this isn’t surprising. There’s a shift, the boys don’t get more serious, because that doesn’t actually seem possible. But the closest way to put it, Lucretia thinks, is that shit got real for them. Which is good. There’s a purpose behind their eyes now. 

After recovering Taako’s relic, Merle comes back with a soulwood arm. Taako seems happier. More contented. Magnus seems better. As a team, their more cohesive. 

Then there’s Refuge. 

 

  
When Magnus holds Chalice his wrist stings. It’s like the clock rewinds, and he’s standing in the house he once called his home, Julia holding his hand, and he can’t help but stare at her face. He wants to memorize every detail. He can’t help it. 

He misses her so badly. 

But the longer he’s with her, he can remember her encouragements to other rebels. How she would comfort him on bad nights. How he would comfort her. They were each other’s strength, to see their duty through. 

She wouldn’t want him to. 

“No thank you,” he says, to June, to the Chalice. “Julia wouldn’t want me to.” In that moment, he wants it more than anything. But he can wait. 

The Director tells them after that their next mission will be the hardest. She has them training hard. But Magnus doesn’t know what could be harder than seeing Julia again and giving her up.

 

Angus knows something isn’t right. Mr. Taako is teaching him magic, which is very cool. But he gets a look in his eyes sometimes. Angus knows about what happened in Glamour Springs, he’s done more research into it. But something has changed since the Chalice. 

“Are you okay, sir?” he asks, one day after training. He’s out of spell slots, but he feels accomplished. Taako isn’t big on praise, but Angus is the world’s greatest detective, he can read people well. Taako is proud of him, he’s 87% sure. 

“I’m fine, Ango,” says Taako. 

“Are you sure? It’s okay to not be okay, because you have people who can help!” He believes it too. 

Taako sighs. “Yeah, Ango. This is the best possible timeline for Taako.”

“I don’t know what that means, sir,” he says. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Taako says. Then, after a beat, where he thinks of all the things that might have saved forty people, he adds, “You did good today, Ango.” 

Angus beams, and Taako shoos him out of the apartment. Angus grins for the rest of the day.

Taako rolls his eyes and thinks it might be a good time to try cooking. Magnus is never going to get those sweet gains on the crappy cafeteria food. Besides, it wasn’t his fault. 

And dammit, if he has to like people now, he might as well channel useless feelings into something productive. 

He ends up making soup and grilled cheese, but it’s good and hearty, and has no chicken or garlic. No magic anywhere near. He goes so far to put the Umbra staff on the other side of room, like he did when making the macrons. 

“Don’t blow this for us,” he tells the umbrella sternly. 

His boys, not a title he’ll ever say out loud, are appreciative. Which is nice. It’s different than Sazed. They respect him, and they know that at the end of the day, they do care about each other. He’s not entirely sure where  _ that _ came from, but he’s finds he’s not upset about it. 

It might be dangerous, but if he can look at his bracer which hides a scar that makes him feel warm, he can handle caring about these chucklefucks.   
  


Magnus, when he goes swimming with the voidfish, they keep poking his soulmark. It’s scarred over. He manages to explain the concept of soulmarks to the voidfish, unsure. Then he remembered Johann had Avi, and tries to use them as an example. The voidfish asks for more. 

So he explains that his soulmark is scarred because his soulmark is dead. The voidfish pauses, then hums a sympathetic note. Then they keep asking. 

He doesn’t talk about anything in particular. He talks about how her hair looked in all the lighting he saw it in. He talks about her singing voice and her low, early morning voice, and how she sounded when she said “I love you.” He talks about fighting by her side. He talks about making ducks together. The voidfish  _ loves  _ that detail, and he can’t figure out why. 

But he feels better, after. 

 

Barry has to do something. The hunger is coming. His brothers and his weird dad are going are going to get hurt. Majorly hurt. 

It’s brilliant what Lucretia has done. He hates it, when his family stares at him, refuse to trust him, and talk about Lup like that. He’s apologizing to his soulmate and hoping she’s somewhere. He feels bad about Robbie. The Bureau is fascinating, and he’s so proud of what Lucretia has built. And he’s horrified. The two voidfish set up is clever, he thinks, and if he just had more time, he could fix it. 

They’ve spent nearly twelve years on this plane, and he wants more time. He can admit the irony. But this time, he knows where his family will be going. After his relic, to Wonderland.   
  


Kravitz knows the boys will be training late again today. They train late everyday. He’s nervous about what Taako does, how could he not be. But when the three of them come back to their dorm, joking and existing in each other’s space, it feels like things are going to be okay, somehow. 

But he’s allowed to wait up for them in the door, flowers in a mage hand so he doesn’t accidentally kill them, Taako found it hilarious but Kravitz is  _ trying. _

He’s not expecting a small boy reading a very large magical tome sitting at the Reclaimers kitchen table. The kid looks up, terrified. 

“You aren’t here for Mr. Taako are you?” the kid says. “You can’t have him.”

Kravitz is at a loss. 

“I’m here to take him out-”

“NO!” says the kid, casting a bright but poorly aimed magic missile. 

“-On a date,” Kravitz adds, after dodging the glowing orbs. He stares at the kid, and the kid stares at him, flushing slightly after taking in the flowers and the golden jewelry. He realizes the kid is, in fact, very observant. 

“Oh,” says the kid, but he still has distrust in his voice. “You can’t take Merle or Magnus either. They’re important, sir.” 

Kravitz cocks his head, “What about you?” 

“Oh, I’m important too, I’m Angus McDonald, the world’s greatest detective,” says Angus McDonald, apparently. 

A simple, “What are you doing here?” gets him a fascinating insight to Taako’s day to day life, and the delight that is Angus. He’s full of life and light and desire to learn. Kravitz won’t steal Taako’s student, but as time tracks onwards, there’s questions he can answer and a few demonstrations. 

Kravitz feels connected to this plane for the first time in a while. 

Which is of course when things go wrong.   
  


Barry has three main thoughts about Wonderland

  1. It’s cleverly put together and, though horrific, brilliant use of necromancy. He’d be impressed if not for, 
  2. Wonderland might destroy his family who,
  3. Trust him again, thanks to it’s horrors.



(He hopes this means they have a chance to save this plane.)

 

Magnus comes to the following conculsions,

  1. Boundless love might not win him any favour or friends, but if this is what it means to be fueled by hate, he’ll take his chances.
  2. Wonderland might kill his family or him, which is unfortunate because
  3. He doesn’t want to die here. 



(He never mentions the look on Taako's face as he saw Kravitz get sucked into the terrifying void, or the relief as Merle comes to their aid.)

 

Taako has some thought about the whole situation: 

  1. He _really_ doesn’t have the hit points for this
  2. He doesn’t need to be a good person if it means getting himself, and by extension, these chucklefucks out alive
  3. Acting rashly and selflessly one (1) time worked out okay. Whatever. Magnus deserved the assist. Even if,
  4. His _soulmate_ is drowning in darkness and he couldn’t save Kravitz, and he _left_ him.



(He's not used to worrying about other people. But these aren't any people. Their  _his_ people.)

 

Merle has one thought about Wonderland:

  1. It’s bullshit, and like hell that’s gonna fly



(It doesn't even occur to him to not try and save his friends. He throws his highest spell slot into it on an instinct. Magnus is rubbing off on him.)

 

Lup, alone in her umbrella experiences the following

  1. She watches her brother change his face without knowing that they won’t be identical anymore.  He’s been her mirror for two centuries and doesn’t even know what he’s given up. 
  2. He hits _forsake_ , and she’s not surprised, but she hates it. She hates that she’s not there to talk him down and she’s not there to help him and protect him and his heart. (Later she feels hope, witnesses him reach out and protect his own heart.) 
  3. She gets to kill a litch who’s been hurting her brother. 



(She also watches Barry and wants to scream to her soulmate that she's  _right there_ and she  _can't._ )

 

When they’re free from Wonderland, Barry thinks about how it took all that horror to teach his family to trust him again. It’s ironic. He thinks about making a joke about bonding through shared trauma, only to remember no one would get it. He misses Lup so much. 

  
  


They get their memories back. Taako and Magnus and Merle  are nearly doubled over with the force of it all. Barry is supporting Magnus, and Merle looks to Taako, and to Davenport, on his knees. 

“Yeah,” says Taako, “Go,” when Merle asks the question with his eyes. 

Merle books it to Davenport’s side. “Hi,” he says lamely. He can read Davenport’s soulmark clearly, just like he saw it for 100 years. He can see his own. 

“I really do hate your tea,” says Davenport weakly. 

Merle laughs.

 

There’s a pause, as the weight of it all crashes down on them. 

 

Then Taako is counting down. Magnus is by his side. Lucretia looks wrecked. But Taako looks worse. 

“You took everything from me,” he says. “My sister. My  _ hope _ .” His voice breaks on the last word. Everyone is uncomfortably aware of what’s underneath the bracer. Not even to mention wherever Lup is. 

Magnus stands beside Taako, the flaming sword illuminating his face. 

“I might have been able to save her,” he says, slowly, like he can’t quite say the words. “Had I remembered.”

“It shouldn’t have been this long,” Lucretia says, trying to placate them. “I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark so long. But this is going to work. It has to.”

Barry speaks up, and he has tears on his face but a calm voice. “Lucretia, the hunger is here, we aren’t going to make it.”

“Where’s the Starblaster?” says Davenport. “We have to leave.”

“We can’t leave,” says Merle, grabbing Davenports hand with his soulwood one. “I have kids Dav.”

“Fuck,” says Davenport, sounding wrecked. 

“I can’t leave them, again,” he says, looking away from his soulmate. 

“I can’t lose you either,” Davenport says. 

“This is Julia’s plane,” Magnus says calmly. “I’m not leaving it.” He leaves no room for negotiation. 

Davenport looks around the room, his family, and his family’s family. His family now, he figures. It’s grown and it’s more messy than the self contained seven he’s gotten used to. There’s love palpable in between them all, in soulmates and boy detectives and liches. His messy family has made a home here, on this plane, with these people, at this time, universe be damned. He’s proud of them. And then, he looks down at Merle, his soulmate, in his arms for the first time in a decade. Merle looks him in the eyes. All he can see is  _ love.  _

“Have faith in us, Dav,” Merle begs.

And gods help him, he does. 

 

And there’s Lup. Glorious and power incarnate. 

They are all staring at her. 

“I was right about your soulmate, dingus,” she says, staring at Taako. 

He’s laughing and he’s crying, and it’s like it’s thirty years ago, when she first became a litch. 

Barry comes over to help him stay upright, or possibly because Barry needs the help. She hovers as close as she can to them. 

And then they have a battle to win. 

 

Avi knows the moment Johann dies. He’s trying to get down the voidfish’s chamber, this is worst case scenario, they are under attack. He doesn’t know from what. But it’s the end of the world. 

And then his wrist is burning. 

And when he can look down, it’s scarred over. He stops in his tracks. His soulmate is gone and that’s it for them. He collapses in the halls. The world is unraveling around him and he can’t get off the ground. 

He’s struck by the unfairness of it all. He can’t remember the song Johann played when they first met. He can’t remember any of them. The twins of all his best memories are gone, and he’s struck by how  _ alone _ he feels. 

 

Magnus gets to see Fisher again. He gets to keep his promise. He gets to return Junior. 

And Fisher places a tendril on his wrist, on his scarred soulmark and makes that inquisitive note, full of questions and longing.

“Yeah, sorry about that buddy,” he says. “I forgot.” Fisher insists, pressing the tendril into his scar. It doesn’t hurt anymore. 

“We’re going to save her home,” Magnus says. “And one day, I’m going to see her again.” He pauses. “Do you think you’re up for that?” 

Fisher and Junior twirl and hum and hold each other, and then they  _ sing.  _  
  


Avi’s first thought, after the story and the song, is how grateful he is that he gets to hear Johann’s song and voice again. How grateful he is  _ the world  _ gets to hear it. 

Kravitz’s first thought, after the story and the song, is how deeply he  _ loves  _ Taako, and how he’s not going to let some angry vore man, and he doesn’t know where that term came from, get in his way now. 

Carey’s first thought, after the story and the song, is how grateful she is that a bunch of weird aliens intervention led her to her soulmate. 

Angus’s first thought, after the story and the song, is how he won’t let his family down.   
  


And everyone on the plane capable of doing so, stands. And everyone capable of doing so, fights. 

Seven birds fly  _ into  _ the storm. Their family bigger, more complicated, with more at stake. They are not the same as they were when they arrived. 

 

Magnus fights, with the help of his friends. When Avi comes to his aid, Avi’s eyes are full of tears and, a quiet moment following a triumphant, “No dogs on the moon!” Magnus sees his scarred mark. Before rushing off to fight, Magnus can give him a hug. 

 

Taako has Lup by his side. Taako has Lup by his side and impossible magic to learn and impossible things to cook. Natch. He gets to see Kravitz again, and it’s  _ so nice _ and he’s okay and for a few moments, all his favourite people exist together. Kravitz goes pale when he realizes Lup is a litch, but the good news is that it’s the end of the world. 

 

Merle, in between talking about his kids and playing the weirdest chess game in his weird, long life, for the first time, he thinks to ask John about his soulmark. 

“I never had one,” says John. “I wanted one, and never had one. Made it easy to talk to those without them, or with scarred ones. Everyone wants to have someone, to belong with someone. And it’s easy to feel like the universe cheated you without one.”

“That’s just not right, John. That’s not how it works,” Merle says, calmly. “I didn’t have a soulmate for ten years, and I’ve found people to belong to, beyond whatever the universe thinks.” 

“I know,” says John, staring at Merle with every intent in his eyes. “I’m very aware of the importance of  _ every bond _ .” Then as he’s sucked back into the evil chaos of the Hunger, he yells, “Break them!” 

 

Merle, though he never intended to, meets his god. Pan stands before him.

“I would have to roll negative perception checks to miss your faith echoing across the planes,” says Pan. “I couldn’t help you because I was trapped.”

“So it’s not because I was the worst cleric who could have been in this role?” He asks, and wow, that’s an insecurity he still hadn’t dealt with. 

Pan laughs, gently. “Merle, you are not that man. And I am not that Pan. But you are not getting rid of me that easily. You’ll always be my Merle.”

As the Parley fades out, Merle shouts, “You didn’t answer my question!” 

Pan laughs.  

 

While the world fights, they find a third option. An option that only works if they’re together, if they can keep the world alive long enough to save it. Because they need to fight for the home they deserve. 

(As she’s forgiven, Lucretia watches her mark regain life, losing the appearance of dead scar tissue and instead moving towards a grey. The grey has room for hope and negotiation and room to grow.) 

And, as Angus, echoing Johann’s words, announces from Magnus’s shoulder,  _ they win _ . 


	4. and for the love in your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so this is the last chapter of this bad boy. I'm floored by the response to this fic and just want to say thank you!
> 
> shannon, ily
> 
> chapter title comes from amadeus by family and friends, which i love and listened to a lot writing this one

There’s a lot of chaos immediately after the day of story and song. The seven birds and the BOB- name change imminant but acronym beloved- all see the benefits of living on the moon base while the emergency rebuilding takes place. 

Davenport doesn’t so much move into Merle’s room as he crashes there after the first night, not knowing how to go and face Lucretia. Merle has no issue, he doesn’t want to be alone. He’s caught between staring at his soulmate- who was right  _ there  _ and he didn’t even know- and his soulmark, which was  _ gone _ and couldn’t have helped him anyways. Davenport has a similar problem, and they take a long, long time to get to sleep.

 

Kravitz comes back to Taako’s quarters, and gets to meet Taako’s family. Well, two important parts of it. The two liches part of it. 

Barry and Lup stare at him and he stares back. Taako comes out of the kitchen holding a tray with tea. He puts it down and all but leaps into Kravitz’s arms. (Not that he couldn’t flip and be caught by his man, but he was too fucking tired too.) 

Barry and Lup are still staring at him, even though his arms are occupied with Taako’s warm and exhausted body. Kravitz is pretty sure there’s a negotiation to be made.

“Technically most of this nonsense happened outside this plane, so I think we can talk about the implications tomorrow,’ he says. 

Barry shrugs and Lup smiles and Taako drags him to bed. 

The next day finds Lup and Taako in the kitchen, and Kravitz and Barry kicked out. 

“Lup figured it out,” says Barry, gesturing to Kravitz’s soulmark. “When we became liches, our marks scarred over too. It gave Taako a lot of hope, before, well, before.” 

“Oh,” says Kravitz. His True Sight lets him see Barry’s lich form as the default. But when he focuses, he can see the carefully constructed ‘dadbod’, which is a word he doesn’t know where he picked up, and the fondness in his eyes as he looks to the kitchen after an impressive crash. 

“Should we, go check on them?” asks Kravitz, unsure. 

“It’s twin bonding time,” says Barry, taking a sip of coffee. “It’s good for them.” He looks to Kravitz, “Besides, isn’t there something we have to discuss?”

“I think we can discuss it tomorrow,” Kravitz says, smile in his eyes as he takes a sip of coffee. Barry grins back with a shit eating grin he must have learned from Taako and that’s when the loves of their lives come out, Lup floating so close to Taako they almost overlap. 

They go to the cafeteria for breakfast. 

 

Davenport wakes up in Merle’s bed. Davenport wakes up in Merle’s bed with a soulwood arm holding his and a golden soulmark staring up at him. Merle is still asleep. He’s breathing. He’s snoring softly, actually. It’s comforting, it means he has to look back to Merle less to calm the panicky feeling in his brain. He looks around the room, which doesn’t look different than when his brain, wasn’t where he wanted it to be. It’s comforting. It’s like the two parts of his memories are cohesive, with his century of living beside his soulmate and the more recent ones where this room was his place of peace. 

He looks to alter to Pan. He says  _ thank you _ , softly, after a couple of false starts. Because he can. 

Later he’ll meet Merle’s kids. 

Later he’ll go out see the world. They’ve given up so much to save it and he wants to be part of it. Maybe Merle would be willing to take an adventure or two. 

He feels better for having a plan, for having a someday in mind. For now, he curls back in, and closes his eyes. 

 

It’s not that Magnus is sad about saving the world. There’s just a lot. At first it’s easy, he just pushes it away and gets to work rebuilding. There’s people who need him and who are kind to him, it turns out all the recovery process from the apocalypse is a little rustic hospitality. But a week turns into two which becomes a month and then two. And suddenly people are going about their lives and there’s not a ton for him to be doing. Communities are rebuilding themselves, and he’s so proud of them, so happy for the love he’s managed to help save. 

But he’s lonely, and he wasn’t exactly making plans for what he was going to do  _ after.  _

To begin with, he has all these recovered memories and no idea what to do with them. So he goes and talks to his family. 

Taako makes him grilled cheese. It’s pretty simple, for Taako food, but the elf’s hands shake when he puts the plates down. Magnus says, “I’m struggling with all the new memories.” And Taako is up like a shot, and grabs the bottle of Fantasy Grey Goose. He takes a large swig and then passes Magnus the bottle. 

“I’m not having this conversation sober, my dude,” he says after Magnus eyes the bottle for longer than a few seconds. 

Magnus decides not to mention it’s eleven in the morning. He takes a drink as well. 

They talk for hours, Magnus at first, but then Taako gets drunk enough to rant and then cry. They end up curled up on the couch to sleep it off. 

When he wakes up, it’s a little bit like waking up on the Starblaster. Curled up with Taako and hungover. But he’s older, and wiser. And with a start, he realizes, happier. It’s good to be home. 

Eventually Taako gets better at talking about his feelings, which Magnus approves of. Taako will call him and bring up an embarrassing thing Magnus has done, and then say, “so you have no ground to stand on for making fun of me for this,” and then talk. It’s good for both of them. It makes Taako softer, better at casual affection and kindness. 

 

Lucretia’s mark is scarred but healing. Magnus and Lup forgave her right off the bat, and her family- her soulmates- stood by her side. But now there’s rebuilding to do. 

She gives Barry all the resources he needs to get Lup a new body. There’s an awkward quiet when they stand over the tank that with eventually grow the body. Barry hasn’t said anything that wasn’t necessary for making things run. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she says. 

“I know,” Barry says. “I get why you did it. It worked. I’m happy with the results, or, well, I will be when Lup is back.”

He struggles to collect himself. 

“But I need time. I’m proud of you and impressed by what you did, and your my sister. I’m going to forgive you Lucy. I just need time.” 

She doesn’t ask how long, and he doesn’t say anything else. But Lup invites her over, they can talk and Barry smiles at her. 

Lucretia watches her mark heal and darken that little bit more. 

But it’s slow going after that. She hasn’t even been in the same room as Taako since they won. He’s angry. She gets it. She took his family and his heart and his hope. But she misses him. 

Merle isn’t one to hold a grudge. But it’s less of a grudge and more of a “she made him forget his soulmate and-”

What she did to his soulmate, Davenport. Her Captain, who she looked up to for a hundred years won’t look at her. He stutters when he speaks and seems frustrated, just all the time. 

 

Lup knows the barebones of what’s wrong with Taako. That magic and cooking can no longer go together for him, which is  _ wrong _ , when she’s watching him cook and chop and stir everything by hand. She also knows the general story of what happened when he poisoned forty people. But when his hands shake and he worries when people eat his food, it’s  _ wrong.  _

She’s still a month away from getting her body back. So physically, she can’t exactly help. But Taako is making macarons at two in the morning, which means she doesn’t need sleep, so she can at least be there. 

He’s whipping the egg whites by hand, which takes  _ ages.  _ But she knows he won’t use Mage Hand to do it. 

“Can I whip them?” she asks. “I miss cooking with you, even if I need to use Mage Hand to do it.”And she does. Gods she’s missed her brother.  

Taako, in one of the greatest acts of courage she’s seen him do, nods and puts down the bowl and the whisk. 

From then on, Taako gets more magic in the kitchen. Absolutely no transmutation, even though they don’t have red food dye to make purple macarons. But she’s proud of him, and she’s overjoyed to be cooking by his side again. 

And in the morning, when Barry gets up, slightly panicked, but relaxes when he sees Lup, her brother, and the breakfast they’ve made. 

Afterwards, Taako finally crashes on the couch, curled up with Barry while he reads. And Lup watches over her boys. 

 

Lucretia is alone in her office. Magnus came by yesterday, and they had coffee and he announced he would be going planetside to start raising dogs. She’s got plans to reform the Bureau, to move it planetside as well. He grins as says he’ll bring his good boys by. She’s smiling as she tells him “he wouldn’t dare,” but they both know she doesn’t mean it. 

But today is going to be a quiet day. Or at least it was until Taako marched in, slamming open the door. 

“I want this bad boy off,” he says, gesturing at his bracer. She hasn’t actually ever taken one off, but she did have contingency plans. She got very good at them. She tells Taako that’s he’ll be the first. 

“You can do it,” he says, but not in an encouraging way. 

“Of course,” she says. He narrows his eyes, but he sits as she looks through files for the spell. 

“I don’t forgive you,” he says. “Lup has, but we aren’t interchangeable. I’m very angry at you. This doesn’t change anything. I just want to look at my soulmark. You owe me that.” 

“I agree,” she says, “I’m sorry.”

“Good,” he says. “I don’t forgive you.” 

She removes the seal on the bracer with a few words and a couple of components. When the latch to remove it reappears, Taako takes it off completely, letting it hit the floor. 

“I didn’t expect you to forgive me,” she says, when he doesn’t stand up right away. “I did it anyways.”

Taako looks her in the eyes for the first time since he arrived in the office. He stares at her, like he’s looking for dishonesty, like he’s looking for the Lucretia he knew on the Starblaster. He stares until she looks away, and he rubs his wrist. 

“Do you regret it?” he asks. By the time she’s got an answer together, he’s left her office. She doesn’t, except for the fact it hurt her family. She does, except for the fact where she saved the world. 

Her mark looks different after that day. Later, she puts it together, that her mark got brighter. Not better, but with some hope in it that wasn’t there before. 

 

Merle moves back planetside to become a beach dwarf. And an Earl of all things. 

“Earl Merle,” his soulmate says, and Davenport rolls his eyes and can’t believe he loves this man. Davenport gets a say in the decor of the house and half the closet and meals with the kids. Merle’s kids. 

He loves them pretty much instantly. Mookie is a handful, but hilarious and exciting, and Davenport isn’t surprised at all. Mavis is clever, and slow to trust. But when she comes to him for homework help, he gains her respect. When Mookie comes in and Davenport occupied his time with illusion magic, he gains her interest. When he teacher her the basics and cantrips Mookie can use to fidget with, and receives a laugh for silly stuff he’s learnt to do, he earns her trust. 

Eventually he gets a small boat, and promises to come back and always answer his stone of farspeech. Merle kisses him a lot and holds him close, but lets him go. 

Davenport sends postcards. Merle’s office fills up with them, all decorating the walls with the brilliance of the world they’ve saved. “Joyfully yours, Davenport,” they say. And that’s how Merle feels when he looks at life he has. Joyful, and inescapably tied to his love across the sea. He laughs and decides to never say that one out loud. 

They talk over the stones at night. Sometimes they wake up alone and panic, sometimes Davenport struggles with words so much he cries into the stone as Merle calms him down. Sometimes Merle wakes up and can’t quiet focus his eyes on his soulmark. They call each other to calm down, to reassure the other is still there. 

Eventually, it gets easier and less frequent, but there are still bad days. They still cling to each other when Davenport comes back. They’re soulmates. They learn to make it work. 

 

When Magnus moves back to Ravensroost, he remembers why he fell in love. Everyone he meets is down to earth, and doesn’t make a big deal of his presence. He works hard, and adopts some dogs. He calls Lucretia every three days, Avi every week on Tuesdays, and always picks up the stone when he gets a call. He surrounds himself with love and gets to work, because that’s how he’s going to move forwards. 

Avi ends up moving to Ravensroost, since he is a mechanic and interested is learning more. He struggles, and when Magnus gets his fifth dog, a ridiculously fluffy and patient lady named Kira, he sees if he can train her to help out with the little things he struggles with on bad days. 

Avi comes over, after an exhausting day, he’s trying to work his way to a journeyman by Candlenights, and Magnus believes he can do it, but his friend is tired. Kira curls up to Avi and follows him around. He looks sheepish, but Magnus shrugs and says, “I think you got adopted, man.” 

It doesn’t fix everything, but Avi seems less tense whenever he drops by. Magnus wonders what else he can do for the people he loves. 

 

They didn’t intend to live all together, but Taako falls in love with the kitchen and Lup with the high ceilings, and it’s close enough to civilization to not be isolating and far enough away to be private, so they all move in together. It’s big enough everyone can have their own space, but the Kravitz quickly realizes none of them have any sense of boundaries. Barry walks around shirtless and will receive a high five from Taako, and Lup and Taako have good aprons that they can wear anything underneath and still be protected in. 

Kravitz learns to work with it. It’s nice though, it’s warm and comfortable and they make an effort to make him part of the family. He has an idea of what a big deal that is, and is honoured by it. 

Eventually, he stops saying that they’ll talk about the lich thing tomorrow. Because that’s when Lup and Barry get offered jobs. They accept, and he gets to know them even better. Not that he’ll ever admit to it, but Taako is relaxing compared to his sister. 

Everyone in the house has nightmares. 

Lup will wake up and be panicked and needs to check on Taako and Barry and be grounded in the fact she isn’t trapped in a goddamn umbrella. Kravitz gets used to going to sleep with one elf and waking up with two. 

This helps Taako, who worries he’s hurt his family, again, and often ends up calling Angus as early as socially acceptable. 

Only Barry doesn’t handle waking up alone all that well, so a lot of the time all four end up in the same bed. They’re heroes of the universe, so they’re entitled to whatever they need. 

Kravitz, for his part, has nightmares about drowning alone in the Hunger. It’s nice to wake up among the living. 

Angus technically lives at school, which works well for him getting a normal childhood. But he’s always welcome at their house. As Taako gets more comfortable in the kitchen, in a combination of Lup, stubbornness, and the fact that the three people he cooks for can’t be harmed by his cooking, Angus is invited over for family dinners. Magnus, when he’s in town delivering dogs or attending workshops or just missing them is too.   
  


 

Candlenights is tense. Davenport, though he struggles with words and complex sentences, especially around more people, especially around Lucretia, talks with Taako. They seem to come to some sort of understanding, but no one is entirely sure what it is. Lucretia feels the most awkward, between Taako and Davenport basically ignoring her and Lup and Magnus trying too hard, it sets a weird mood. Magnus goes from excitable and happy to withdrawn and quiet, and goes off with Barry when it happens. Lup and Merle get high on the back porch and nearly freeze. 

Kravitz, most surprisingly, pulls Lucretia aside early one morning. They’re drinking tea, because the twins insist on grinding their own beans, and Kravitz only know how to do it in the noisy grinder that will wake the whole house. 

“Listen,” he says. “I’m on Taako’s side here. He’s my priority. This is a business discussion. I’m not going to do the accent though.” He stares her down. “You saved the world, so the Raven Queen is pardoning you on any and all crimes in any planes. Any future actions against the laws of nature will be assess on a case by case basis. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she says, fully understanding how poorly that could have gone.

“Okay,” he says. “And as Kravitz, Taako’s soulmate, you hurt him badly. But you knew that. I’m not thanking you, but if it brings you any comfort, I met Taako when I did because of your actions.” 

Lucretia sits stunned until her tea goes cold. 

Angus arrives after his last exam, eats a metric ton of food, he’s growing even if no one will admit it. Angus, on his part, is way too smug about it. They pull it together for him. Lup and Taako pull together a feast, the intoxication switches from weeds to moderate alcohol. 

It’s not perfect, but it is comforting and warm. Though they never all put it together, the seven birds all think the same thing,  _ if this is as good as it gets, I’m okay with it.  _

 

Angus receives a dog named Lucky. Magnus trained Lucky, and Lucky is a good, clever dog for a good, clever boy. She’s mostly trained as a protecting dog, and Angus brings her to school and to cases he takes. 

He’s in a darker ally than he needs to be, strictly speaking, and bringing in a member of his extended family will break his cover. He doesn’t really intend to take cases, but he wants to stay sharp. Plus, he has friends now. Catherine, who hasn’t decided on a magic speciality yet and is worried about her older sister asked for his help. He didn’t mean to get in this far. 

Not that it matters. His cover is broken by some parrots by an open window above him. He can see his target raise his hand to hit him with the kind of necromantic spell Uncle Kravitz will be able to  _ feel _ , and he’s halfway to having a decent shield ready when Lucky takes the shot for him. She’s dead before she hits the ground. 

Kravitz is there in full work gear, stepped through a portal and gives Angus the symbol to go through and get out. He brings Lucky with him, he won’t leave her. 

On the other side is Taako and Auntie Lup and Uncle Barry, who all look horrified with this development. He’s crying into Taako’s arms before he really knows what he’s doing. After he recovers, still shuddering, he turns around to face the adults. Taako is still holding on to him, which is nice. Everyone is looking at Barry. 

“Oh,” Barry says. “Hey, Angus, we can’t, um, bring Lucky back, but there’s a loophole, since your Uncle Kravitz isn’t back yet.”

And Angus, to everyone’s surprise, and surprisingly, delight, has a reanimated dog skeleton. 

He was worried when Magnus came by and saw, but Magnus was sweeter with Lucky than Angus could have dreamed. Then he goes and hugs Uncle Barry, and the two go off for a little bit. 

Later, Uncle Kravitz sat both him and Uncle Barry down at the table and had a long talk about theoretical necromancy options and respecting the Raven Queen with Uncle Barry looking as innocent as possible and Angus following his lead. Uncle Kravitz has pamphlets. It’s very sweet, so Angus doesn’t feel the need to tell him until the two hour mark that he actually has no intention of studying necromancy. He’s actually interested in divination. 

Sometimes he ends up casting spells to make Lucky to make her look like a “flesh dog”, as Taako puts it. Not that he cares, but it draws too much attention to them on cases. The rest of the time, he doesn’t bother. 

 

One day, a few years later, he’s approached after a particularly good soccer game, if he says so himself. He loves his team, and he’s hoping to make Captain in a few years. He’s just pulled a hoodie on, and Lucky is bounding around, excited to go out and run for herself. The person who comes up to him is a silver dragonborn, and they’re very pretty. He thinks he’s seen them around the campus before, but they aren’t involved in any divination. 

They say, “You’re Angus McDonald!” 

He says, more than a little tired, and without thinking, “Was it the skeleton dog that gave it away?”

The dragonborn’s eyes widen, as they say, “I knew it.” Then they must realize what they sound like from Angus’s point of view.

“I’m Sam,” they say. “And I think we’re soulmates.” 

 

At Carey and Killian’s wedding, a year after the day Story and Song, it’s a beautiful ceremony where everyone cries, notably Magnus, who cried tears of happiness, thinking of Julia with joy. Lup and Barry take notes for a potential ceremony of their own. Kravitz can feel his heart in his chest and looks at Taako, and wonders about a someday. Angus grins as he makes mental notes.

The reception is wild, Merle definitely says things not worth repeating to the floral centerpieces, all to make Dav blush and laugh. It works, to the upset everyone else has. Lup and Taako hit the dancefloor and Barry and Kravitz stare in awe before getting roped in. Taako ends up taking Kravitz to find a quiet corner, and Lup drags Lucretia in. It’s fun. Lucretia remembers being  _ fun.  _

The alcohol flows pretty freely, but Lucretia doesn’t imbibe, she never really figured out how to order the wine she liked. Every plane calls them something different. So she sits at the bar, a little lost. Davenport comes and sits beside her. He orders wine for the two of them, with only a hint of a stammer. 

“You’ll like this one,” he says. He looks tired when he smiles at her. But the corners of his eyes crinkle, and it’s genuine. 

When they receive their glasses, Lucretia tastes it and it’s perfect. It’s tastes a little bit like forgiveness. When she looks back to him, unsure if she should ask the question, he smiles again.

“Of course I forgive you. I missed you Lucy. Merle does too, at least most of the time,” he says. They end up talking for over an hour, and drinking several glasses of wine. She feels warm in all her joints, which is why she doesn’t notice the darkening of her mark until the next morning. 

It doesn’t look like how it did when she left their home. But now it looks how it does in her new home.   
  


 

After the first year, things start getting easier. But it isn’t for another many before Taako comes to visit. Lucretia is sick, not dangerously, but annoyingly so. She’s not old enough for that, yet. Taako shows up with Kravitz helping carry in groceries bags. 

Taako makes her soup and bread, and fills her house with warmth that’s nostalgic and comforting and he  _ talks.  _ He talks about Kravitz and Angus and Lup and basically every good thing in his life he can think to mention. He sounds happy. He seems at peace. When she can finally get a word in edgewise, she asks, “Taako, why are you  _ here _ ?”

He looks at her like he’s trying to figure out where he lost her, teaching is good for him, it’s not an angry face. “Humans don’t live that long,” he says. 

She know she’s staring at him, he’s barely aged a day, which for the first time in a while, she’s jealous of all the time he has. He’s looking at her in return, and she doesn’t know how to describe the look on his face. He’s smiling.  

“And,” he continues, after their pause, “cha’ boy likes having the last word.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap folks!! 
> 
> I never expected this to be as warmly welcomed as it's been, and I'd just like to thank you for coming on this wild journey with me. This wouldn't be what it is without the wonderful feedback I've gotten and it really means a lot. Thank you so much
> 
> ps, you can come scream with me on tumblr at justanoutline!
> 
> Also: in the spirit of dysfunctional families, and ya bois love of baking, Lucretia's mother's carrot cake recipe is mine and my mothers (the only thing we can always agree on is the spice needed in a good carrot cake) which is best of bridge Karrot's Cake (http://www.recipelink.com/msgbrd/board_2/2011/SEP/25476.html), with the following changes: in addition or substitution of cinnamon, use 1t ground ginger, and 1/2t of each cloves and nutmeg. Don't use the tiny side of the grater the normal one keeps more moisture in the cake. Both me and Taako use 1t of vanilla extract and 1 1/2 t of vanilla bean paste, instead of the normal 2t vanilla extract, in the icing bc we're fancy and we can.
> 
> Thanks again y'all


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